The Mental Battle Behind Creation
Why is it so hard to publish one article a day?
That wasn’t a question for you. It was a crying call from me to my inner self.
I have a problem. It’s not putting content out in public anymore, I have been sharing my articles just fine. It’s the fact that it takes so much mental energy to do it.
Why can’t it just be easy?
I want to just be able to write what’s going on in my mind, edit it to the point that people can at least understand, and publish it for the world to see.
Instead, I have a back and forth battle every step of the way until the damn article is posted.
From the minute I get the idea, to the second I click “Publish”, it’s mental turmoil.
It’s tiring. And I’m tired of being tired.
So let’s work this out right now because I need to write an article today anyways.
We can start with the idea.
As soon as an idea pops into my head I quickly get excited about it and then I quickly forget about it.
I’m a glutton for punishment. Why didn’t I write it down?
Here are some possible reasons:
- I was too lazy to pull out my phone and create a note. No that’s not it. I’m not lazy.
- I don’t have a system in place to ensure I pull out my phone and write down my ideas. This is true.
Shout out to Jeff Goins on Medium for introducing me to a great system I can steal as my own from today on.
But still. Why do I need a system? I should be able to have enough excitement to pull out my phone and immediately write down my ideas.
3. There is something deep down that makes me a non believer. As soon as my idea comes to life this evil inside of me shuts it down. This evil tells me things.
Things like your idea is too vague and you’re not going to have enough to write about this idea. These things can even be somewhat rational.
It’s scary and it’s surely the reason why I struggle to write my thoughts down. Even when I do, it’s after fighting the thought for hours.
When it comes time to write it gets worse.
As I write, I make comments on myself. Not good comments.
I’m my worst critic. The whole way through I am telling myself that my grammar is horrible, no one will understand me, my story is getting boring, I’m running out of thoughts to write about.
It’s a constant in and out. Never giving me enough time to get into a flow state. The constant judgement eats me alive.
Oh. I just had another judgement pop into my head “this isn’t unique”.
Get out of my head!!!
Let’s move on to the editing and publishing.
I just thought about it for a couple of minutes. This part is actually not that bad. I have most of the article done already, now it’s just making it look pretty.
Oh never mind, now I remember what stops me.
It’s a cold freeze. At this point my brain decides to shut off. I forget how to do simple tasks like read or spell.
It’s my mind’s last attempt at getting me to back off and not post the article.
My focus begins to waver to any influence. Any notification on my computer takes me away from posting for hours. It’s the final stand.
Getting through this battle makes me feel like a champion.
But why have this battle in the first place? It’s time to implement a habit to end not just the battle, but the war too.
I will stop caring. It’s the only way.
Even as I write this now. Any negative thought that pops into my head, I just ignore. Any outside distraction that attempts to divert my attention, I don’t give in. I stay focused and writing.
It sounds easy, but it’s not. It takes willpower. It’s not something that happens right away. It’s built over time.
It all starts when you just let go of the outcome and you realize that if you don’t care, all the mental clutter can’t stop you.
Not caring goes deep. You have to think about the reason you started writing in the first place.
Think of the goals you set for yourself and the life you imagined as a successful writer.
Now, let it go. Tell yourself it doesn’t matter if you become Famous Writer #33.
Only once you let go, you can stop caring and start writing.
