The Problem With Being Inauthentic

Jessica Nicasio
Nov 10, 2018 · 4 min read

Have you ever tried to convince yourself that something is right for you when deep down you know it’s not?

Maybe you felt like it violated your core values or maybe you just felt like you were forcing it.

There are many obvious external problems and consequences of being inauthentic but what about the internal ones?

The repercussions of being inauthentic are felt mostly internally and the only way to feel in “alignment” is to start being honest with yourself.

Like most people, I write out of experience in hopes that the person on the other side of this screen realizes something before I did.

I feel like there have been quite a few times in my life where I felt inauthentic, not by choice but by pressure.

Or actually, let me back that up a bit… Everything we do is our choice at the end of the day so yea there’s outside pressure but we’re the ones that make the decision to cave in.

It’s funny how blind we can be at some point, just trying to convince ourselves that:

“Hey, this isn’t so bad”

I think I could do this for the rest of my life”

“I don’t have it as bad as other people”, “

I remember desperately trying to convince myself that I liked a job I clearly hated… Deep down I knew I wasn’t remotely near anything I actually wanted to do but it was a great company so I should have been happy.

I didn’t know back then but after working with a brand coach I realized that “Authenticity” is actually one of my core values so now it makes so much sense why I was so anxious and stressed during that time in my life.

Why did I and you do this?

#1: Trying to fit in

You can’t really blame yourself at this age for trying to fit in and mold into someone you just weren’t but do you remember how crappy you felt?

I’m sure the feeling of fitting in was great but the feeling of being inauthentic was probably worse.

If only trying to fit in stopped after high school…

#2: Following someone else's path

Well if they took that path and got to where I want to go then I can do the same then, right?

So I thought!

I cannot tell you how many hours (and hourssss) I’ve wasted comparing myself to others and trying to recreate their path.

I figured that if they are where I think I want to be and they took that specific path, then I surely have to do the same.

It’s kind of embarrassing to admit but I literally wasted about 15+ hours trying to figure out how to emulate my Instagram after someone else’s.

She was traveling the world and running her business as am I so I thought how hard can this be? I studied the way she used IG to communicate and even went as far as doing a photo shoot around Madrid in order to have good pictures for my feed.

Lucky for me I realized that although she has the six-figure business, is coaching dream clients, and traveling the world, the way she got there was because she was being herself.

I too can get to my version of success but in a way that feels authentic to myself.

We all have our own journey’s to take so stop trying to be the second best (insert name of the person you look up to) and start being the best you.

#3: Society tells us that’s the direction we should take

You’ve put so much work in getting that degree and have even wrapped your identity in it so it can feel like an identity crisis trying to do anything other than that


You have to realize that yea you spent four years getting that degree but you don’t have to spend the rest of your life doing something you know isn’t what’s going to make you happy!

Sometimes we don’t even know who we are so how do we know we are being authentic?

Clarity comes from engagement, not thought. — Marie Forleo

The Ascent

A community of storytellers documenting the journey to happiness and fulfillment.

Jessica Nicasio

Written by

26 yrs old | I write about: Life & Entrepreneurship| INFJ➡️

The Ascent

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