The Universe Keeps Showing Me I’m Not in Control

Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash

Are you one of those savvy folks who’s already learned that control is an illusion?

I want to be like you. I’m trying. I’m getting better at relaxing my white-knuckle grip on control one calamity at a time.

You see, I used to think I controlled the Universe. I efficiently planned, tweaked and twisted workable solutions into umpteen potential problems.

It worked. I mean, I made it work because I ignored the signs before. I never listened when the Universe said, “Step back, I got this.”

And then my husband received an incurable brain tumor diagnosis. I couldn’t plan my way out of that conundrum. There were no tweaks or twists available for me to find a feasible solution to terminal cancer.

For the first time in my life, I learned a very humbling lesson.

I don’t control shit.

Control is an illusion (aka I never saw it coming)

I never saw my husband’s brain tumor coming. We were skipping along through life all normal-like. You know, happy, near-perfect family doing the happy, near-perfect family things. And then all hell broke loose with a Valentine’s Day diagnosis and a dead husband twelve months later.