There’s nothing wrong with having a few friends
In the hustle bustle life of your 20s why it’s important to look at the people you call ‘friends’.
Growing up I had loads of friends, I would describe myself as a social butterfly. Never belonging to one clique but many, and always having invites to parties not everyone had. Yes, that was me I wore the coat and received the matching gloves — I loved being loved.
Yet, as a 20 something-year-old, the remnants of this past life are well and truly extinct. I became a social reclusive in the past six to eights years, I dumped all my high school mates and I deleted my facebook.
During my post-teenage stage of my life, I realised that having toxic, user types of friends around had zero benefits. I would say I was giving my entire life a well needed social cleanse. I had no regrets, not answering texts from people who would only text me at their convenience or saying goodbye to those who had a passive aggressive outlook on friendship. The cleanse unbeknownst to me saved my mental health.
I no longer felt like I had to be a person who had to be there for everybody, the person that always had to be the ‘nice one’. I became familiar with the woman I wanted to be, and this woman wanted to surround herself with people who were for her not against her. Removing myself from the net of friends I had, hadn’t even alerted them. Not one tried to contact me in regards to why I had distanced myself from them. That spoke volumes.
I could have talked to them about their behaviour you may say, but I was in agreement with myself, that I wasn’t going to fix people’s problems. I had problems of my own without the added complexity of others.
What has been the most self-liberating thing about having few friends, is getting to seriously think about the type of people I’m letting into my life. Anybody can be your acquaintance, but to take our friendship out of an acquaintance-safe zone, both parties need to be putting equal work. To me friendship or having a close friend is like having a support group when you’re going through emotional turmoil. Friends, are the people you turn to when you’re feeling lost. And if can’t turn to you friends for either of those things, are they your friends?
Presently I have a handful of people who I can call my friends and I’m perfectly fine with that. With my new selection of friends, I’ve never had an argument with any of them, never felt like I’m being used and we text each other to make sure we’re still alive. And most of all, I don’t feel emotionally drained and my mental health is thanking me.
For years I’ve put up with people and their ill-treatment, but I’ve learnt what I want from friendship and they’ve learnt what they want from me. So do yourself a favour, do your social cleanse reevaluate some of their friends you have, you may learn something about yourself in the process.
