To Be Truly Confident, Master the Dark Faces of Confidence
To attain real confidence, a process needs to be put in place, and the relevant elements of confidence must be mastered.
We often heard how confidence is one of the most attractive traits in the world. Certainly, confidence carries a lot of merit and it is of little wonder we seek to possess it so desperately. In the desperate chase of confidence however, many became misguided to adopt the dark faces of confidence. Faces full of lies, full of deceit, devoid of humility, which together, seek to lead us to path of self-deluding reality.
No, I am not saying confidence is bad. In fact, confidence is a powerful and great tool for us. However, to attain real confidence, a process needs to be put in place, and the relevant elements of confidence must be mastered. We are increasingly guilty of pursuing shortcuts to attain confidence these days, and this is what brought us to adopt the dark faces of confidence, wearing the mask it offers us to disguise our flaws. It is this aspect of confidence most of us must avoid at all cost.
Let me present, the dark faces of confidence and to share, how to embark on the true path towards confidence.
1) False Confidence is a Self-Fed Poison
False confidence is extremely dangerous. It communicates a sense of comfort not only to others, but to ourselves mostly.
The first truth to confidence is that, confidence can be built based on a false sense of comfort, or a form that takes its roots out of nowhere. In other words, we conjure confidence out of the thin air.
False confidence is extremely dangerous. It communicates a sense of comfort not only to others, but to ourselves mostly. When we are so convinced that we can get something done, we became excessively reckless and bite more than we can chew. In the end, when the illusion disperses and we see no result from our efforts, we fall into a self-conjured depression. “I am confident I could do it, but why did I fail so badly?” one would whisper this to one’s mind and heart, feeding both with poison that will further intoxicate the already ailing soul.
False confidence is undesirable no matter how you try to spin it into a desirable trait, avoid it at all cost. Do not fall to the trap set by the sirens, singing enchantments into your ears, mind, and soul.
2) Confidence is Poor Substitute to Resources and Skills
Confidence is a great tool for sales, it is the foremost among many other persuasion skills. Yet, promising high heavens that fall short is a far worse outcome than not promising at all.
As mentioned earlier, confidence is not bad, it is good, only if it is backed with something concrete. These first 2 ingredients to develop confidence would be resources and skills. If you promise your friend that you will throw a memorable birthday party, you better have the resources to get it done. If you promise your employer that you can handle the project, you better have the skills to live up to the expectations.
Confidence is a great tool for sales, it is the foremost among many other persuasion skills. Yet, promising high heavens that fall short is a far worse outcome than not promising at all.
So next time before you promise to get anything done, make sure you have the skills of resources to get them done, and then, feel free to be confident about it.
3) Confidence is Situational
We can be confident in certain situations, but certainly not all of the situations.
One cannot be confident in all walks of one’s life. To be able to do such, is a reckless endeavor backed with self-delusions. We can be confident in our work, but not confident going on a romantic date. Or we can be confident in those two aspects, but not confident to do a public speaking. In our lives, we engage in many different activities and we experience many different events. We can be confident in certain situations, but certainly not all of the situations.
With proper practice, we will reach that desired level of confidence in many situations, though not all, but at least we get to choose which area to excel in.
Still, we are not devoid of hope, we can expose ourselves into applying our confidence in different situations. With proper practice, we will reach that desired level of confidence in many situations, though not all, but at least we get to choose which area to excel in.
4) Confidence is a Liar, for Good or Bad
It would be a bad lie if we use confidence to paint an image that we ourselves cannot sustain
Perhaps the greatest liar in the millennia, confidence shrouds itself from being labelled as such. Yes, confidence is a lie. It is a lie to ourselves and to others, it is a marketing and persuasion tool designed to entice others to believe in us. Arguably though, it can be a white lie, or a plain bad lie.
It would be a bad lie if we use confidence to paint an image that we ourselves cannot sustain, falling to meet the expectations in the longer run. It would be a white lie though, if we could package ourselves in an image that we could sustain.
In absence of commitment, white lies becomes no more than a gamble we selfishly engage.
Not that I am encouraging us to lie, but certain white lies can be used to buy us time, to turn the white lie into reality. Imagine me promising my future wife to be the best man she could have, and I really learn towards becoming one. Yet, before I make such as act, I have to commit to it. In absence of commitment, white lies becomes no more than a gamble we selfishly engage. A behavior that I used to glorify but am keen to advocate against today.
5) Confidence Does Not Shine Alone
Combined with proper skills, resources, situational experiences, and humility, confidence, has the potential to be the most potent instrument of hope
Similar to the shining white light we so adore, formed in unison by an alliance of multiple colors, confidence does not shine alone.
Combined with proper skills, resources, situational experiences, and humility, confidence, has the potential to be the most potent instrument of hope. Spreading hope not only to others, but to oneself. Shining bright like a beacon of hope, illuminating the dark faces of confidence, and bringing smiles upon those faces deep within our conscience.
And this, is the thin line that separates the charm of true confidence and one that is not. An instrument of hope, against an instrument of lies.
6) Walking the Path of True Confidence
The path to attain true confidence is never very straight forward, but we can plan for it in the very least. As mentioned, confidence shines with proper skills, resources, situational experiences, and humility. This forms our high level plan and a summary of what we have to pursue.
If we are willing to learn, we can get the skills we desire.
Skills can be attained with hard work and constant efforts towards self improvement, if we are willing to learn, we can get the skills we desire.
The most important resource we need in developing confidence, lies in our time management.
As for resources, the most important resource we need in developing confidence, lies in our time management. The commitment and investment of our time in developing skills and applying these skills towards our daily activities will slowly, but surely build the confidence we desire.
The more we try to do something, we gain more expertise and comfort in performing the same tasks in the same situation.
Skills and resources alone however, will not get us very far. We must spend time and test our skills in various situations to gain the level of confidence in many walks of our lives. The more we try to do something, we gain more expertise and comfort in performing the same tasks in the same situation. Practice well, and gain that confidence to shine when the opportunity comes.
The most important of all, is our humility to understand that we are never too good to learn new things.
And perhaps the most important of all, is our humility to understand that we are never too good to learn new things. We open our mind and heart towards learning more as we go, and understand that we are never perfect. As the more we learn, the more opportunities to learn will present themselves to us. Keep the cycle running and be the best we can be at every moment of our lives.
Feel free to apply all other knowledge available out there, and to create your own processes to achieve true confidence.
And as to the process on how you will pursue these, feel free to apply all other knowledge available out there, and to create your own processes to achieve true confidence. Know that all knowledge are inclusive, if we are willing to accept them.
And all that is left, is for us to apply this confidence ethically, beautifully, and effectively. And know that such is the benevolent nature of true confidence, one that we often fail to behold, because we dwell on the dark side of this nobility without even realizing it.
So, are you now ready to face the dark faces of confidence? And to embrace, the greatest gift that true confidence has to bestow upon us? Remember, the brave becomes brave only when the brave welcomes the fear within.
