Tub Tuesday
Our autism journey

I stare at my living room and all I see are tubs and toys, and a trampoline. I often wonder what of these things helps Owen most. Last night as he struggled to rest his body and fall asleep, I tried to figure out ways to help him calm down before bedtime. Routine is so important to Owen, yet so many things I let slip by, because they aren’t part of the routine and I haven’t put them in the mix. We have therapy balls, a body sock, bouncers, jumpers, and so much more, but what helps my baby find the input he needs. Too much stimulation makes him restless, not enough leaves him craving more and still restless. It took him almost an hour to fall asleep, he flopped from one side of the bed to the other side. He grabbed his big body pillow and had it in a pretzel before I could even turn the light off, but yet no comfort came quickly. There is no tucking Owen in under a sheet, the sheets all end up in a ball. I got a blanket that zips up around him but he can’t lay still to even try it. The search for comfort is never ending, for both of us. My heart aches to see his little body go through so much to find peace. Exhaustion had set in for him, but his body did not agree. I never imagined autism was like this. I never imagined the daily struggle my baby would face. Through it all I see determination, I see strength, which gives me strength and inspiration. I am thankful for Owen and all the things he has taught me by seeing the world through his eyes. Love, compassion, and understanding, that’s what I seek, that’s what I’m finding and that’s my hope for all. Make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!

