Want Long-Lasting Relationships? Learn to Help and Make People Smile
People will never forget how you made them feel.
Would you think your relationships are strong? And people you love will be with you in all walks of life?
It depends. Sometimes people go crazy. They desperately crave for expectations. They mistreat you. You feel tired of them, and still, they don’t care.
You get insecure when they argue for silly things. They get frustrated and disappointed. And “happily ever after” seems like a fairy tale.
And you heared the same typical advice. “Be committed, make adjustments, spend some quality time.” it sounds perfect, but these statements are theories.
When you say “make adjustments,” but how much? Do you know how to adjust? “Being committed” is ideal, but when your partner is drawn to another person. Than It’s easy to stay up with commitment? Obviously not. So, Every advice has limitations. And most of these are just abstract ideas. It’s impractical. If you take this as ultimate, you’ll always be confused, and your relationships will end up being miserable.
Practically speaking, people only remember Your help and how you made them laugh. As Maya Angelou put it best:
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
And the idea behind the relationship is two people can do more in life than one — emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically. We all lack something. We’re imperfect. So, when you’ve meaningful connections, you can grow faster.
In reality, each relationship has plus-minus, Sometimes you feel loved, and sometimes she seems dead. The only thing you can control is your ability to make them smile.
But how do you make a genuine impact in the lives of your near and dear ones?
First, Be Absolutely Clear About What You Want From The Person And The Relationship.
Most relationship problem arises from unclear expectations. “Why he is not getting my point? Why should I explain what I need? Why I always have to teach what to do and what’s not?” And when you don’t know what you want, you end up expecting more and more.
The best way to identify the right expectations is by putting question mark before it arises. Ask yourself. “It’s necessary to make this relationship more effective and long-lasting? Will it be actually important?”
People are fighting for merely silly things. Sometimes, they don’t know why they’re fighting! The reason may be different from the arguments. People fight for third person. Basically, they don’t have clear priorities.
Here is what I think the important things. You can rate according to your needs.
I never compromise when someone is replacing me. I had fired lots of people because you can’t love two people at the same time with the same intensity.
What do you do if your boyfriend is caught red-handed? From my perspective, I never give another chance because if he neglects me right now, he could also leave in the future.
I believe in forgiveness. I let go of 90% of my needs, but when it comes to cheating, I’m absolutely clear. And this is the number one quality of any relationship. Suppose, if you’ve a problem then tell me, inform other friends, slap me, stop talking for a few days, do anything but why should you prefer another person?
When someone breaks my trust, I can give three chance. The first time, he might not be serious. The second time, he might be angry. But the third time, a person is not valuing your needs.
No matter how insignificant you feel, you deserve to be respected. No one can violate your boundaries. I typically give 8 to 10 serious chances for disrespect. But if a person doesn’t take it seriously, it’s better to quit. You can’t spoil your life for those who don’t care.
You might not be aware of it, but unnecessary expectations hurt more than help.
By Being Bigger, You’ll Automatically Let Go Little Things.
Look, who you find to love, no matter how much he cares, no matter how much he knows about human behavior, still he can’t fulfill your most expectations. People are great in one way and terrible in another way. And no relationship is absolute. It has different variations. For some, you love and some you hate.
The point is, you can’t control the relationship. You can’t stop problems and emotions. You can’t teach a person how to treat you. The only thing you can master is how you made them feel.
If you constantly argue for small things and behave immature. One day relationship will reach that point of regret.
And if you forgive the person, genuinely love, let go for her drama, care for her, make time and help her in important projects. Your relationship will undoubtedly be stronger.
Having a bigger heart helps to lower down the stress. You really don’t care about the things that don’t create a difference.
Suppose a person wants a yellow wall, but you don’t like it. Then only ask yourself, is having a yellow painted wall makes any negative impact if I let it go? No, then let her win. It’s okay if she has different opinions. It’s still okay if she argues and trying to prove her right. Who cares? And if you let it go and don’t create drama than one day, the person loves you more.
If you focus on small happy moments and share it with people. They’ll remember it forever. Whom do you like? The complainers or someone who smile. Obviously, the second one, right?
Laugh On Your Stupidity And Make People Smile.
One author (don’t know the name) explained the nature of the relationship beautifully. “Love is like electricity. And people are like wires. When two wires join each other with the proper flow of energy, the bulb will fire and spread the light. But if you make a small mistake while connecting. The bulb will burn. Sometimes the damage is too big, so you’ve to replace the wire or bulb. The whole game is to make the right connections despite the chances of mistakes.”
Have you ever thought why we dwell upon small things that can turn into big disasters? Most people don’t have a clear understanding of how to let it go.
And the easiest way to identify self-harming incidents by putting a filter. You forget to watch the movie tonight and your girlfriend gets mad at you. Then ask yourself. How much is this relevant with priority? Suppose, it’s in the 7th position. Forgetting promise. So, you know that you kept promises before, but somehow you forgot today. Then let it go. Accept your fault, calm down the situation. Once you listen to her with understanding, she’ll definitely sense your authenticity.
Focusing on ways to help is the surest way to save any relationship. Listen with patience, support them, empathize with them, be kind, and make love.
Sometimes it’s beneficial to help people out of your limits because when they walk away, the only thing that turns them back is your unconditional help and smile.
Look, most people are self-absorbed. They care for their righteousness. They want to be respected. They want to be loved. They want to be treated in a certain way. Most people “want” everything. And everyone is the same, so no one wins. Only you’ll be remembered if you made them smile because it’s a rare gesture.
And we care the rare.