We Spent Three Years Buying Nothing
When your community blesses you with everything you need.
We live in Rochester, NY, a beautiful town in upstate New York. When we moved here three years ago, we knew it would not be for good. My husband works as a temporary contractor for an IT firm and can do nothing to settle down here permanently.
In the year 2014, after spending four years in the USA, our visa did not renew. The USCIS took one year to think about our case and gave us 15 days to return back. We had to trash a lot of stuff in order to empty the apartment in time.
In 2017, we moved back to the USA. This time we decided to spend at least the forthcoming three years in style. Our visa was at least valid for that duration. We bought a house with a big backyard. Most of the furniture came with it, but none of the bedrooms were furnished.
My husband was low on cash initially. Everything went toward the house and the car. We could have taken things on credit, but I did not want that after the wasteful experience the last time.
It’s all about being good neighbors.
In India, it is a bad omen to accumulate old furniture. They say that used goods carry the luck of the person with them.
Ever since we came to our new neighborhood, generous neighbors gifted us second-hand gifts for our two little children. How could something that brought a smile to their faces and encouraged community building, be a bad omen?
My husband and I believed in spending money on things that made a difference. A good house where we could spend quality time, or a vacation that helped build memories forever.
As a contractual worker, he did not make a lot. We had to cut corners somewhere. This time I was adamant to buy new things to furnish the house only if our future was certain.
A month after we moved, my husband's company transferred him to Washington DC. I refused to move the kids and myself again.
For the first six months, he stayed in DC, coming back every weekend. Thereafter, his boss allowed him to work from home. Miraculously, that arrangement has remained.
A Paradise on Earth
Our neighborhood was known for its snooty and unfriendly people. But we decided to dwell among them. This was where the best school district was.
The people here were rich and wise. They believed in keeping waste away from landfills. People living in huge mansions posted a want on the ‘Buy Nothing’ group before heading to the stores.
Our neighbors may not have the time to poke their noses in everyone’s affairs, but they were true neighbors. They always helped in times of need.
The people of Pittsford were generous, courteous, considerate, and empathetic. With its lush green forests, the mesmerizing Erie canal, and its soulful people, this was paradise on earth.
Puzzle Pieces That Fit Together
Buy-Nothing is a group where people post things they do not need, for others to take — because your trash could be someone’s treasure. But it was never trash. They were useful things bundled in a lot of love and care.
When someone posted a want, the whole community made a genuine attempt to fulfill it. And when I say made an attempt, they went out of their way.
The very first want I posted was a bike. Unlikely, but I took a chance. I mentioned we had just moved here from another country and bought a house.
The next day an angel offered me a bike in perfect condition. Thereafter we acclaimed many necessary gifts without asking. Right from a rice cooker, to Christmas lights, to bulbs and even matching missing knobs for an antique chest of drawers.
No matter what the members of the community needed, all they had to do is ask.
Missing a lego piece? A fellow neighbor would miraculously dig it out from their child’s toy treasure. Kid’s voice audition and no teacher? A fellow music teacher may help. Broken roof and no ladder? Someone will arrive with it and even help you clean. Need something disassembled for trash pick up tomorrow? Help will arrive with tools.
We found everything but lacked a bed in our room. We had bought the mattress and had been sleeping on the floor for the longest time. My husband was sick of my new wow.
“You mean to tell the world that I can’t even buy us a bed?”
“I mean to tell you that the universe is listening,” I cajoled.
The next day someone in the group gave away a king bed. It was perfect and coincidentally matched the existing nightstands.
Bit by bit, in about 6 months, the three rooms furnished themselves with generous gifts from the community.
Most couples went on long shopping sprees to lovingly furnish their homes with matching pieces. We let unmatchable pieces find their way to our hearts. These unmatchable pieces of kindness fit perfectly in our new abode.
Round-the-Clock Service for the Price of Nothing
The thoughtful members of this community had foresight. Way before summer break, retired parents fished their cellars for things to keep the children busy.
Some offered expensive DIY projects, others offered the invaluable gift of time. We even started a book share among ourselves.
With time, my children forgot that new toys were even a thing.
Whether it was a dollhouse for our daughter, electric circuits for our son, or a house for our chipmunks, the neighbors never disappointed.
Important article for school needed and shops closed? Snowblower after the worst snowstorm? Power washer for the deck?
The group offered 24/7 service, and that too, free of charge.
The Joy of Giving
With time the kids learned to willingly part with clothes and toys they no longer needed.
Earlier I had to donate them while they were away. Now they understood the true joy of sharing. When moms with little ones came to collect their gifts, instead of shedding farewell tears, they shed tears of joy at the sight of smiling faces.
With spring came a plant share. Neighbors bonded in the fresh air while playing with dirt. To see saplings from another’s soil lovingly bloom in your own is priceless.
We never had to fret and shop for the coming season. Instead of stowing summer clothes away, I segregated them into different sizes. Someone took the outgrown clothes, someone else gifted me bigger ones.
A Walk to Remember
I had to speed up to organize my sister’s 10th-anniversary celebrations, and it was then that I witnessed a true miracle. She had suddenly moved her Hawaiian-themed party from Hawaii to Rochester.
We had to host her family of ten. We had love in our hearts and room in our home, but not enough beds for their bodies.
Fifteen days earlier I posted a want. Without even asking, people offered me mattresses that we could lay on the floor.
Unused towels, fancy toiletries, kitchen organizers, bikes for the two toddlers, an outdoor kid’s table, games to keep everyone entertained and an outdoor gazebo were other gifts.
With valuable tips to decorate the backyard for the party, came all the matching decor. From Leis to table pieces, from matching tableware to candles that lit the path, everything blended in so beautifully, my heart melted. No amount of money could have bought that feeling.
This family reunion turned out to be the last one for one of our relatives. The visitors from three countries will always hold this event that the community helped me put together, in their hearts.
As soon as my sister left, I returned the bikes. The Hawaiian decor graced another party. Other toddlers ate at the kid's table. The candle that momentarily granted joy at our party, lit up someone else’s spirit.
No one thought anything was unhygienic. No one cared about luck. Material things did what they should— to serve their purpose and then be passed onto others.
Do you have a Buy-Nothing group near you?
I am now a nurse in Germany trying to carve a more certain path for my family. When I left, the neighbors helped me declutter quickly. Good quality clothes I just could not fit into my overweight suitcase graced another wardrobe.
Perishables my husband would never cook fed another family.
He wouldn’t have time to host people, so I gave away all of our serving dishes, and the wine glasses, and the fancy decor. The community blessed us with good wishes and prayers that will forever remain.
This time when we move, we do not have to hurriedly empty the house. Its contents are already feeling at home with caring owners.
No matter where we go, we know we will never find the type of community we left. Or maybe we could build one? Would you like to start a Buy-Nothing project near you?
It guarantees essentials, life-long friendships, reminders, and last-minute solutions, all for the price of nothing!
Shireen is an avid writer, budding Opera singer, apprentice nurse in Germany, wildlife rehabilitator, dog sitter, dog walker, walker…. Jack of all trades and master of one- Mother to two children aged 7 and 9!
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