We Survive
You saw me today. I was holding it together but you saw me anyways. You saw right into my broken soul. We spoke the language only people like us understand. It starts with a little story. That story trails off and knowing smiles replace words. Eyes meet and say, “Hi, I see you. You’re like me. Isn’t it great to still be alive?”We don’t need to finish our sentences because we both know the words that lie at the end.
I have lived with my truth for almost a decade but am still living in silence. My fear has grown throughout the peaceful years, but it grew silently. It built up in my bones and became me. When he came back around it took over me. It pulled me into the shadows. The only place I existed before I knew freedom.
Today you may have saved my life. You made sure my plan was solid, you told me this was real. You told me I wasn’t crazy, and you made me protect myself in the way I deserve. This is how I learned it’s not enough to speak the language of silence, the tongue of those who have been defeated by awful men.
When you told me you were like me, I tried something new. I looked at you and with a tremble in my voice i said, “I am so scared right now.” But you didn’t laugh, and you didn’t pretend. You could see the victim below surface. The one ready to become one with the woman I am now.
Today, after you gave me strength, I looked someone in the eye and said “I’m a survivor.”
If you’re like me I hope you can find your voice too. If you speak your truth often enough you will find one of us. We’re everywhere. I’m watching closely for my likeness. I’ll do what you did for me today. I will lift someone up and carry them to the safe place we have landed.
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