What do you do when doors seem closed?
I have been knocking on job-market doors for the past 3 years. Should I continue knocking on those same doors?
What have I been been learning about my “closed doors” situation?
I moved to Finland 6 years ago. I expected to land a job pretty quickly. Unfortunately, that has not been the case with me.
I began to do my research about the true job situation in Finland and found some truths: 70–80% of the jobs are hidden, they are not advertised. I also found that I needed excellent Finnish skills for many jobs. I also needed to actively build up a network and gain some more elusive experience. And in attempting to do some of that, without noticing, the hours, the days and years have ticked by.
Doors were closed. Doors are closed. Doors appear closed.
But, just because I did not want to sit at home and twiddle my toes, and also because I did not want a resume that stated I was unemployed, I found an online-something-to-do “job”. I began to teach English.
All the while, I kept applying for jobs, sending out resumes and trying to make those vital network connections. And yet, for some reason none of the doors opened. I seemed to be getting a lot of refusals. There were some patient recruiters who explained how I could work on improving the presentation of my curriculum vitae. I remember one kind recruiter explained some of the possible reasons why I was not making it through to the other rounds of interviews. All truths. All of which made sense….. But…
Then, suddenly one day — it all seemed too much. A few weeks ago, I sat at home, and moped. I did not meet up with my friends. I was down in the dumps. Disappointed. Upset. With myself.
That is when a thought about traffic lights hit me. Especially, a thought about the red one. The red traffic light.
A red traffic light remains red — until it turns green. I have to wait.
I do not need to push and push against those doors, that for now, seem closed. Pushing against seemingly-closed doors only leads to disappointment and self-doubt.
I decided not to push, but to wait out the red light
Yes, the light will change. It will. The green has to come and I’ll wait.
But, while waiting for the green and for doors to open, I can do a lot
I also remembered what Moses was told when he was out in the wilderness. I asked myself, “What is that in your hand?” (Exodus 4:2). Moses was trying to argue about not being able to do this and that. He had to stop, he had to work with what he had in his hand. He had to see it, confront it, throw it down and use it. In his case, it was a “mere” stick, a rod.
I looked at what I had in my hand, right now
I asked myself to list out what I had in my hand, right now. To actually sit down and think about what I had.
What do I have now? What can I do with what I have now? How can I take it further?
And when I examined my present, my now, I realized that — actually, I do have lots in my hands.
Here’s my list. Maybe your list is different?
My online teaching “job”
No, it does not pay the bills. But, it has opened up an interesting world. I’ve been at this online teaching thing for over a year now. And am still at it.
I continued to invest my time and energy in teaching and began to critically analyze my students’ feedback scores. I experimented with different methods of facilitating online group conversation classes, and have improved my teaching methods.
Instead of “just a job” it’s an investment
For some of my students, this 45 minute lesson is the only time they hear or use English the entire week. So, I want those 45 minutes to be their most important, beneficial, productive and inspiring, yet encouraging time. I’ve made some good friendships along the way. Some of the students have booked private lessons with me. Those who have left the teaching platform continue to keep in touch with me, they send me emails about their lives and they are my precious friends. I am the one who has gained.
A lot of time
I have a lot of time.
Really, a lot of time.
With lots to do to fill that time, I now have a lot of possibilities.
I can:
- Learn lots of things online, for free too! Here’s my current favorite place.
- Attend the zillions of free workshops that are being organized in Helsinki (and make more great friends). I find those workshops using Eventbrite and Meetup.
- Work at honing my writing skills. That’s why I started writing on medium!
- Volunteer and help others. I use the skills I have, I do some editing and stuff.
- Read a lot. We have excellent library services here in Helsinki. I love that I can read the books that I never had time to read before.
- Practice my Finnish. And while am doing that, I use some of the experiences to write stories.
- Allow beautiful Finnish nature to talk to me. And yes, I had to write about it, too!
So, maybe I am getting recharged for the “next whatever”. I dunno what the next is…. but for now, I’ve made myself content.
Who knows - what I have in hand may help me find the next door to knock.
But, for now, am not going knocking, am going to enjoy what I have.
I have now learnt: not to put myself down, to be patient, to enjoy what I have, to enjoy what is working for me, to use this time to just “be”- right now, right here.
What about you? What’s in your hand? How are you “handling” your situation?
I’d love to know- do respond.
Waiting to hear from you …👂
