What Farewell Feels Like From The Other Side
From a workplace perspective
A few months ago, I wrote my first curated article called 4 Reasons Why I Quit My Dream Job After College. Today I want to share another part of adulting and that is the farewell — the good-bye stage.
When I first quit my job, I had to say good-bye to my direct supervisor, my mentor, my team, my peers, and even cross-functional team members. News traveled fast, and within a day of me sharing it with my boss 3 weeks in advance, I felt like the whole building knew I handed in my resignation.
I had sales members from other teams come up to me asking if I quit. Apparently they all knew me as the manager on the 3rd and 4th floor who worked really hard.
As someone new to the work environment, I didn’t know how to handle my resignation. It took a lot of courage to even come to this point. I barely made it out of the office without melting into my supervisor’s chair.
But I knew I needed to have a plan quickly to prepare my team for their future without me. As I shared my resignation and strategy to best prepare the team, I felt that this was the best I could have done.
I hope this story can serve as a guide for someone else on how to exit a workplace. Take it and improve on these. I know there are better ways to leave a place as a leader.
- Break down training schedule with direct reports:
My strategy was to prepare my direct report leader to manage the floor by herself without my guidance. I trained her since her first day and she was my first leader to train as a manager. She had 15 years of experience over me in the marketing industry but it was her first time analyzing retail sales numbers and managing a full team with our omnichannel orders. So I broke down my schedule to 3 weeks, and explained what I will do every week to make sure she feels confident before I left — I explained the expectations of the role, what tricks I learned on the job, how to build team morale, etc. - Announce it to your team:
My own sales team started to hear about my resignation throughout the weeks and some were brave enough to ask me personally about the rumors. I couldn’t lie to them and told them the truth. Since the team had different schedules and shifts throughout the day, I couldn’t find a time when everyone was together to announce my decision.
On the second to last day, I still wasn’t able to tell some members on my team because I was emotionally stressed and sad. Mentally, I was relieved because I was happy I can pursue what I wanted to do, but emotionally, I felt like I owed them an apology for not telling them for so long.
One of my members asked me, “When were you going to tell me? I knew you were quitting because someone else told me. And I told her that’s not true and they said you confirmed it with them. So, I knew all along but wanted to respect you and give you time to tell us.” I was shocked.
I apologized and felt this heavy pit in my chest because I felt like I let my team down. I explained why I came to my decision and she respected it. In fact, all my team members were happy for me because they knew I was fresh from college, and truth be told, they saw me struggling too. I can say I had the honor and privilege to work with some of the most supportive and awesome ladies in my first full-time job. And while they saw me struggle, the majority of them weren’t the ones who made my job harder. (I explain my main reasons for my departure in the article here).
While they can be hard to befriend at first, they truly welcomed me with open arms and taught me how to be a good leader.
3. Empower your team:
Throughout the 3 weeks, I made sure I spoke with my team members to let them know what I saw in them. I wanted them to know that I appreciated all they had done for me. I pulled them off the sales floor and spoke to them about their future.
To some of them, this sales job was a post-retirement job, some saw the job as a way to pay the rent or to support their family, to others this was a stepping stone for their next career journey.
I realized everyone had their stories. For those who were seeking the next stage within the company, I provided honest feedback on how they can get to the next level, whether that is changing their behavior, showing an improvement in their sales, or being a team player. Throughout my monthly check-ins with my team, they already knew what I expected from them and we always communicated about ways to improve their skills.
However, one of the things I regret was that I wish I spent more time asking what they want in their next job instead of focusing on the current one. As a leader, I wish I empowered them more and helped them. So the best I could have done in my last 3 weeks, was to have these conversations be the focus. Instead of being vague, I asked where do you see yourself and try to strategize with them. I explained in detail what the company needs to see for them to be considered for the promotion if a position appears.
And while preparing my team for my departure was the hardest part, I was crying every day at work because they made saying goodbye difficult.
This was a farewell where I am leaving a company. A position and team that has taught me so much about myself as a leader. And through my colleagues’ messages, I knew as much as they were happy to see me pursue what I wanted to do, they were sad that I was leaving. What I didn’t expect was to still be in contact with some of my team members and direct reports after leaving for a few months and now a year.
I got a surprise text wishing me a Happy Halloween and Happy Valentines Day. Every national holiday, I received a text or received a “how are you doing?” message. I realized that even though I was saying goodbye to the position, our relationships were still there. And those who kept in touch with me taught me that it was never gone.
Fast forward to a year later, this farewell was a little different. In fact, this was the farewell that encouraged me to write this article because I wanted to reflect on what I am feeling because I think this is all part of growth.
I recognized now that there are different types of farewells. While all farewells have sad sentiments, it is usually because two things are leaving one another. And like most relationships, I read somewhere that people come into our lives at certain times to teach us something.
One of the head departments in my current role shared that they are leaving the company. Not to give away too many details to respect all parties, this farewell felt different. I wasn’t the person leaving the company, but I was the person watching someone else go.
We build a bond with others that we don’t recognize at the moment before they are gone. And we were all in our zoom call (during these unprecedented times) they shared the reason they were leaving and went around saying what they appreciated from each one of us on the team.
It was my first time seeing someone higher-up leave a company that I worked closely with. But what struck me to the core was that they left amazing words of encouragement and support for me that will probably be remembered for the rest of my life. However, the meeting was the same. Everyone was teary-eyed, mellow, and reflective.
It made me flashback to what it felt like leaving words of encouragement to my own team back then. I don’t even remember all the words I said, but I will not forget how they made me feel when I said it to them. And hopefully, it’s the same now.
Their words of encouragement and validation meant a lot to me.
As this news is still very raw and fresh to me, I don’t know how I will process it in a few days or in a month. I do think farewells are good. Sometimes we need to leave things to grow stronger. And I truly think those who come into our lives, we were meant to meet for a reason. Cherish those memories, and if possible stay in touch. As an adult, I realized how difficult it is to create new meaningful connections with others. In the meantime, our lives will continue because if there is anything we know, is that we don’t know what will happen in the future.
Stay safe, respect others, and cherish those you meet.
Signing off from Brooklyn, NY at 6:17 pm,
Jessie Kwan
