What I Mean When I Tell People I Have ADHD
What it’s like living with “chaos brain”
When I tell people I have ADHD, I feel the words fall flat. It’s an almost subtle eye-roll from even the most well-meaning of people. It’s not that I am filled with an offended rage when people say things like “Oops, sorry, ADHD moment.”
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a great feeling.
My problem here is when people make assumptions about what ADHD looks and feels like. Like all learning challenges and neurodiversity, ADHD isn’t just one thing, it’s many. Even though I have struggled with it profoundly, I have never been good at standing up for myself. When it comes to other people they are a dog and I am John Wick.
The reality is, I know many individuals with pervasive anxiety, morbid depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, dyslexia, and other neurodiversity. Somehow, knowing even a small sliver of their troubles makes me hesitate to really become an advocate for ADHD. Once I started to realize that I am just defending myself, it became easier to do so.
I was diagnosed with ADD, now called “ADHD Type 2” when I was in 4th-grade. I was on and off of pills and my mood and personality showed it.
