What I want my kids to know

For those that don’t know, Jon Gordon is NY Times best-selling author and a brilliant professional speaker. I consider him a friend and mentor. If you aren’t familiar with his work… do yourself a great service and buy his books. Trust me.

I aspire to be an author and professional speaker as well. And when I asked Jon for his guidance on how to shape my message and find my purpose, he hit me with one of the most profound questions I have ever been asked…

If you died tomorrow — what would you want your kids to know?

This question has been on my mind for the past two months and what follows is simply a bulleted list of what I’ve come up with so far.

For those that don’t know, I am the proud father of 6-year-old twin sons and a 4-year-old daughter.

So Luke, Jack and Lyla… listen up…

• Life isn’t fair. And expecting or desiring it to be fair is a mindset of the weak. Play the hand you are dealt to the best of your ability.
• You can’t be anything you want to be. But you can be anything you deserve to be. Big difference.
• Want to become happier instantly? Trade your expectations for appreciations.
• It’s your decisions, not your conditions, that shape your life. One decision can change the course of your life.
• Every single decision you make has a consequence. Some positive, some negative.
• Knowledge must lead to action or it is worthless.
• Leaders will always be in demand.
• The ability to make other people better is an invaluable skills set.
• Success without fulfillment is meaningless.
• Key to happiness: don’t have expectations, have preferences (and if your preferences aren’t met… let it go)
• When your heart and brain align you resolve most issues quickly and efficiently
• It doesn’t cost anything to be nice… to smile… or to say ‘good morning.’
• You can fool anyone for about 15 minutes… after that you better know what you are doing.
• It’s just as important to be liked as it is to be good — because being liked will help you get through the times when you aren’t so good.
• The key to happiness is figuring out what is truly important and disregarding everything else.
• Trust and honesty are the most important factors in all relationships.
• Nothing of value comes without effort. Nothing.
• You are only as good as your word. Do what you say.
• The disappointment of failure doesn’t hurt as bad as the regret of not even trying.
• If you truly care… it shows. And caring matters.
• Knowledge, experience and memories are 3 things no one can ever take from you.
• Define your own success.
• Your attitude and your effort are the only 2 things in the world you have complete control over… so focus on them.
• It’s OK to be proud of your success; but always remain humble.
• A good reputation is a tremendous asset in every area of your life.
• You will be happiest when you are growing, learning and improving.
• You will be as happy as you choose to be.
• It’s much easier to stay out of trouble than it is to get out of trouble.
• Success isn’t something that happens to you, it’s something you make happen.
• Don’t focus on money. Instead, focus on your passion, on excellence and on serving others… and the money will come.
• You choose your habits and your habits dictate your success.
• If there were no problems or challenges there would be no opportunities. So embrace them.
• People will be more influenced by how much you care rather than how much you know.
• People only allow themselves to be as happy, successful and fulfilled as they believe they deserve to be.
• It’s OK to be content with what you have… but never with what you are.
• Everyone’s greatest need is to feel loved and appreciated. So make as many people feel that way as you can.
• In many cases, you have to do something to don’t want to do in order to have something you do.
• You will always make the time for the things that are truly important to you. Your calendar reveals your priorities.
• You won’t benefit from the things you intended to do. Action is what counts.
• You can’t expect the very best if you don’t give your very best… every day.
• The best way to appreciate something (or someone) is to be without it for a while.
• In many cases, it takes just as much time and energy to wish for something as it does to actually do it.
• Most people don’t look for the truth — they simply look for someone to agree with them.
• The simplest way to find happiness is to stop complaining. Be thankful.
• Everyone wants to be successful, but few people are willing to make the sacrifices necessary to achieve success.
• People follow examples, not advice.
• Don’t spend any time today worrying about yesterday. It’s over.
• There is no such thing as ‘normal.’ We all see the world through our own lens (and biases). What’s normal to me may be abnormal to you.
• Focus on your yard and on your grass… don’t worry if anyone else’s yard is greener.
• We all have baggage and insecurities. How you deal with them will dictate your future.
• It’s not what you do occasionally that matters… it’s what you do every single day.
• Nothing is more important than your health and happiness, so live accordingly.