Ascent Publication
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Ascent Publication

What’s the Point of It All? Happiness IS the Point!

Our matching tattoos.

Let’s talk about something important. It starts with the tattoo, above.

My partner, Christiaan, and I had been looking for a partnership tattoo a few years ago. We were searching online for ideas and when we found this image, we knew we had found something that spoke to both of us.

Christiaan is 6’3”, lean, muscular, and lanky. When he’s being silly and joyful he’ll raise his arms up in the air, making him almost seven feet tall. Our tattoos looks exactly like him at his most happy.

Whenever I see my tattoo (which is often as it’s on the inside of my right forearm below the elbow crease) I think of him. I think of how happy we are together, how much we laugh together, and how happy I am with him.

The other day I was in a dumpy mood, I wasn’t feeling well and wasn’t sure if I was emotionally run down, or if I was fighting the beginning of a cold.

Sometimes when this happens I get moody. I begin to overthink things. I start worrying about the future and obsessing over silly details. I know that I need to let that stuff go.

The most important aspect of being is happiness!

The point of life is to be happy, to experience joy on a regular basis, and to have peace of mind.

It’s the connectivity of all those things that’s vital to a fulfilling life. If I’m not happy, or joyful, then what the hell is the point?

This past summer the City of Toronto installed outdoor calisthenics equipment in a big park near where I live. It was a perfect summer’s day and I had an awesome bodyweight workout in the morning before it got too hot.

Never thought I’d enjoy calisthenics until I tried it!

There were three kids playing on the equipment, using the climbing ropes and trying to do pull-ups. Another young family arrived and one of the little girls came over to ask about the tattoo on my arm.

It was a joyful moment that “clicked” for me.

What I saw that morning in the park was the playfulness of children, the moments of joy, and the laughter.

It reminded me I only need to look at my tattoo when I’m having a bad day. It’s a symbol of my best self and what’s most important to me: my queerness, and my partner, Christiaan.

There are times when I’ve had to push myself in my business. For a time I was unsure of my direction. To stay on track I had to keep one eye on the task at hand, and the other on my why, my passion, to stay motivated.

We both want the freedom to travel as often as we’d like. I want to build my business so that it fits with my life design. If I’m not happy for days on end with my work, I need to catch myself, stop, and ask,

“Why are you not happy in this moment?”

If my work feels like drudgery, if I am out of sorts, angry, bitchy, annoyed, sad, upset, or cranky, I ask myself,

Am I out of alignment, out of my best state of being?

Am I disconnected, in this moment, from what’s most important to me?

The point of life is to be happy.

Why so serious all the time? I/we need to laugh, play, and be as silly and joyful as a dog endlessly chasing its tail.

If you ever wonder, what’s the point, it’s very simple.

The point is to be happy. Go ahead and ask yourself,

  • What makes you happy?
  • What is your purpose?
  • What is your why?
  • What feels like an impossible goal that you would love to accomplish?
  • What would make you most happy and joyful, most of the time?

When you know the answers to those questions, it’s easier to catch yourself in times of “non-being.” You will more easily return to a true state of your best, happiest, most joyful self.

Darren coaches gay men to break out of the status quo that fucks with their queerness and who they want to be. 🏳️‍🌈 Sign up for my free video course:



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Darren Stehle

Darren Stehle

Coach + Writer + Podcaster empowering LGBTQ+ change-makers to create a life they love by doing what they love and make an impact: