When Wasted Money Isn’t Wasted

Why I’m glad I spent $200 on a job coach and never moved ahead in my job

In 2018 I was running a side hustle with a network marketing company. I loved the company and I believed in their products, I still do. I had done pretty well, but after I had given birth to a baby, my business started to tank.

I lost “builders”, or the other people under me who had wanted to join me in the business, to their own life situations. For awhile I was able to manage maintaining my business and things continued to do ok. I was still teaching some classes about the products, still enrolling people here and there.

Then things started to slow down. I wanted to make it successful. I didn’t want to be a “failure” and I didn’t want to have wasted all that time and money into a business that was doomed to fail. I spent hours praying and seeking out what I could do to improve things.

I began seeing this woman who was highly ranked in our company around on social media, let’s call her Holly. She sometimes coached people to help them get ahead in the business. I heard many people talk about how Holly is so inspiring and she had made it up to the top position in the company. Bonus, she actually lived in my city. I decided I had to give it a shot.

Making the Call

I emailed Holly about working with her. I mentioned I was in her “downline”, in a network marketing organization the people who are enrolled under you are called your “downline. She messaged me back. She had formerly coached people, but was no longer doing it. However, as she read my message she felt compelled to work with me. So we decided to start working together.

At first we did one on one calls. We talked about where I was in my business and where I wanted to be. We worked on things like “personal words of empowerment”, what goals I had with life, my personal and business goals.

At one point somehow the idea of me writing came up. I had honestly been hearing this voice in my head, God’s voice, telling me I needed to write. But I was doing this other business, so I ignored it. Holly quickly encouraged me to listen to that voice. She saw something in me that lit up when I spoke about writing.

Insight from an unlikely place

So she led me to start a website and create an ebook. She walked me through all of that. All the while this was supposed to be in an effort to grow my own Network Marketing business. I didn’t see the big picture yet. But I created the ebook and I started the blog.

We continued on with our coaching, but it had changed. She wanted me to be a part of a coaching group. We met on Facebook and in the beginning it was supportive and helpful. But soon the momentum died. And at the end I looked back and it had gotten me so much more confused. But I decided to keep my blog and web page that she convinced me to start.

For months and months I had felt like I had thrown the money for that coaching away. It wasn’t what I thought it would be, Holly fell to the wayside and basically floundered the last half of the meetings. It seemed on her end the coaching was forced and didn’t flow like it had on our first call. I felt like I had been lied to and ripped off.

Letting go

When I started working with Holly, I had envisioned myself climbing the ranks in the NM business and selling loads of products each month. I thought working with her would create for me a “rock star business”. But what I didn’t realize is that pursuing that goal day after day, month after month was slowly drowning me. I didn’t see that, even though I truly loved the products, I didn’t enjoy showing up for my job everyday. I would sit and only give about 50%.

Any job worth doing is one where you are excited to give 100%. You get excited about the next class you would teach, the person you will coach or the next hamburger you will cook. It is not drudgery. With running that side gig, I felt drudgery.

Over the last year, I had begun to spend more and more time with my blog and writing and sharing my life and my ideas in print. That was where I got excited. It still took me a long time to finally be ok with my business going to the wayside. And technically it is still there, just on a back burner. If things happen, great, but I am no longer pushing it like a street peddler. I will always use the products, I just cannot make it my sole gig.

While I never got what I expected of that coaching session package, I got something far more valuable. Permission to follow my dreams. She allowed me to see that what I dreamed of was possible and that I was only limiting myself with my previous path.

Finding my passion

When I finally decided to make writing full time my thing, the passion showed up. Never once did I feel this excited and invigorated about teaching the classes for my products as I do sitting in front of my laptop allowing the ideas to flow out like water. I spend hours each day writing, not because I have to. I don’t have to. I want to. I love it.

I believe that everyone should make a living doing what they are called to do. It has taken me 39 years to find what I love to do. I always knew deep down I did, but for some reason I never embraced it. We all need to search until we find that one thing that makes our heart sing. Then run with that as hard and as fast as you can. Life is too short to waste your time chasing something you just kind of like.

While I didn’t think I got what I paid for from that coaching, I am still glad I did it. I learned a valuable lesson from that group. I learned that you cannot do something you are forcing. You cannot treat a business like a job, the kind you are just doing for money. You have to love it. If you don’t love what you are doing, you won’t be truly successful. Sure, you may make a load of money. But if it is not something that truly inspires you, you will not reach your fullest potential and to me, that is what success truly is.

Wife. Mother. Follower of Messiah. Health Advocate. Lover of the journey of life.

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