When You Enter Relationships in Seeking Mode, You Will Be The Underdog
The chaos of life leaves us hungry to connect and thirsty for someone to hold onto. Our over-exposure to other people’s success triggers a craving to matter. So, we give relationships all we’ve got, only to be met with disappointment before long.
The formula for relationship success feels like a 21st century mystery because we continue to look for external solutions to this internal problem.
I am fortunate enough to be in a 27-year marriage with a man who still purrs like a kitten when I stroke his neck as I pass by him in the kitchen. But, within those same 27-years, I’ve had 20 new best friends if I’ve had one.
Some friendships have lasted just a couple of weeks, some have lasted a couple of years. They have been male gym partners, younger co-workers, older mentors, and community peers of all ethnicities. To my regret, most of these relationships faded without warning.
I’m emotionally tough. So, I don’t mourn lost relationships. New best friends are easy to find. The problem is that they are so darn difficult to keep.
Fortunately, as I heal from childhood trauma, I see myself more clearly. Now that I have cultivated a trusting relationship with myself, I approach relationships with more ease.
