When you feel like sh*t, these 5 mantras will help
If you never felt particularly bad in your life, great! Skip this post, receive a virtual gold star from me and know that I would like to have your brain in the next life. For the rest of us, here are some methods, ideas and 5 powerful mantras that help when everything else fails.
By now we have all learned the conventional, Pinterest type of wisdom: we create our own opportunities, it’s up to us, nothing changes unless we do, nothing works unless we do and so on. There is nothing wrong with those messages. On some days these sound really good, meaningful and motivating. However, there are other days…
There are days when you feel like crap. The days when putting on your clothes and making a breakfast are considered an accomplishment. The days when you don’t have the energy to be proactive and creative, but only to pass by. There are the days when all the life hacks, motivational books, courses, and memes don’t make any sense, whatsoever. There are the days when pain, fear, hopelessness become so overwhelming that you simply aren’t able to “fake it till you make it.” There are the days when nothing makes sense. Shitty days.
Shitty days may be triggered by various reasons: conflicts, stuckness, loneliness, confusion, loss, depression, anxiety, fear of the unknown, major life change that leaves you feeling lost and confused, reaching the goal and realizing that you never wanted it in the first place. The reason may not even be obvious. Sometimes we will feel bad without a particular reason. This is especially true for sensitive people, who easily pick up negative vibes and “the world’s pain” from their surrounding.
Conventional wisdom
After some time in the crappy mood, you will start wondering what to do with yourself (which, btw, is a healthy tendency). Yet, so much of conventional wisdom will encourage you to just cheer up, write a gratitude list, do 10 jumping jacks. There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of these methods, the only catch that they may not work. The reason is that these methods may undermine the wisdom of your emotional system, which is screaming and shouting.
“You feel like crap? You shouldn’t feel that way. Look at all the things that are good in your life and this cat video on Youtube. See? Life is good.” On a bad day, you will not buy into that. On a bad day, you will need something different.
It’s all temporary
Any emotional state is temporary. It will come and it will go. When I feel like shit it doesn’t seem like a phase. It seems that the life sucks. But it’s not true. This too shall pass. And it’s good to be reminded of the transience of everything. Good things will pass, but so will the shitty ones. (Yay!)
Emotions are only the indicators on how our system reacts on what’s going on. We can use emotions as an information, as clues to learn more about ourselves. Emotions will convey the message and fade away, but only if we allow.
Unfortunately, the human mind has a tendency to reset itself to pain and suffering. That’s why we stay in the ruts longer than necessary.
Habits and repetitions
I know exactly how it goes: when I fall off the wagon with my good habits (8 hours of sleeping, meditation twice a day, physical activity, spiritual practice, writing), sooner or later I will start feeling like crap.
Yet, all of us are inclined to performing all these rituals and ceremonies when we are in trouble. It seems that when we “fix ourselves”, we can go back to our old ways. What a trap.
We have to repeat and repeat most things in our lives and bring our homeostasis back to balance when it changes. We may not fix the problem immediately, but gradually everything will be better.
Slow down
Quickest and easiest way to become more open to change is to slow down. In slowing down you will become more mindful, observant and open to receive something new. Marianne Williamson says:
“In order to go deep I need to move slowly.”
We cannot change our most excruciating emotional states by quick hacks and easy fixes. We have to slow down and be willing go deep.
Mantras
The mantra is a new thought, new sound, new idea, a new anchor for your thoughts. A beginning of a new grove. That’s how we change our minds gradually. Kamal Ravikant says that our thought loops are the paths in our minds created after numerous repetitions, like grooves in the rocks carved by the water. Introducing new mantra is equal to starting a new grove.
“The goal here is to create a groove deeper than the ones laid down over the years- the ones that create disempowering feelings. Some we’ve had since childhood. Which is why this requires a focused commitment. Forget demolishing the grooves from the past. What you’re creating is a groove so deep, so powerful, that your thoughts will automatically flow down this one. “
When you slow down and make yourself receptive and get ready to start a new groove, here are 5 mantras that can help:
1. “I love you.”
Above mentioned Kamal Ravikant’s book “Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It” advocates for this mantra. (His version is “I love myself” but I figured that “I love you” feels more natural. Choose whatever you find more appealing.)
This mantra brings you back to the natural state of self-love and kindness. It helps you re-establish peace with yourself instead of feeling like crap because you feel like crap (which is an endless cycle). Kamal suggests using this mantra abundantly when you are walking, washing dishes, waiting in lines, brushing teeth, anything. Repeat and repeat relentlessly so that your thoughts will gradually start gravitating towards self-love.
2. “Nothing bad is happening.”
This mantra originates from Samantha Bennett and it’s a pure gold. She advocates the idea that whatever is happening is not bad (of course, if we are willing to see it so).
If nothing bad is happening, what IS happening?
Maybe something painful, uncomfortable, confusing, new, difficult, challenging, however, not bad. The fact that you’re feeling terrible doesn’t have to be bad either. It shows you that something is off, that you need a change, that your actions and values are discordant, that you are growing and stretching yourself. None of which is bad. This mantra is powerful because it will help you to reframe your experience.
3. “I meet limited circumstances with limitless thoughts.”
This is the mantra from The Course in Miracles and I love it madly. On a mortal, material plain, our circumstances are always limited. We only have so much time, money, energy, contacts, projects, subscribers, Facebook friends. However, on a spiritual plain, we are all limitless in terms of ideas, energy, potential, possibilities.
When I am at my worst, I usually start identifying with my limited circumstances rather than my limitless thoughts. And I suffer. Everything seems rigid and bounded. This mantra helps us see beyond our tiny perspective. It helps us choose higher and better thoughts. It helps us transcend our sadness and search for the solution for the spiritual problem in the spiritual realm.
4. “I am willing to see this differently.”
This mantra from The Course in Miracles actually invokes miracles. When you say this mantra, you are surrendering your limited world view. You are admitting that you got stuck and that what you see or feel right now is not the best image. But more importantly, you are claiming that you are willing to do something about it, to understand it in a different way. To change your perspective and perception.
You are not asking for your circumstances to be different, rather you are stating that you are willing to see them in a new light. You are stating that you are open for something new. The universe will always respect your free will, thus you have to state that you are willing. And the new perspective will show up. A new idea will pop up. Without a particular reason, you will feel a bit better.
5. “Let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.”
Wild Geese
You don’t have to be good.
You don’t have to walk on your knees
for hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile. the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and clear pebbles of rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in clean blue air
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting-
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
Mary Oliver
When I feel like crap, I read this poem. It never failed to make me feel better. The line that particularly resonates with me is “let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” That verse is a reminder of self-compassion and kindness.
You don’t have to be good, or productive, or superstar. You should only be kind to the soft animal of your body. It is doing the best it can. It is fighting some hard battles. Give it some love.
As Danielle Laporte says:
“Self-compassion is the best self-help.”
Your turn. When you feel like sh*t, what do you find particularly helpful? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Before you go
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