Whiny Monday
Our autism journey

I guess this is all about me, because the dude is still sleeping. I’m waiting for his smile, because I know that will cheer me up. I sat most of yesterday waiting for interactions with Owen. He finally asked me for bubbles, and I said yes. I had been holding out on bubbles, hoping that we could use that for potty training, but he hasn’t seemed very interested in it lately, knowing that clearly it is me that isn’t interested in it. I’m just thankful he stopped the fecal smearing and I hope we can get back on track with everything. There is no easy task for my baby. None. Potty training is on the list of not easy. Do I put it above or below working on utensils, or maybe counting with his fingers, how about putting on a sock, or taking off his shirt. Where does everything fit in. He holds his sock in one hand, holding it slightly above his foot, moving it back and forth over it, to try and put it on. That’s big progress, we have worked on it for months and months. Some days the air that has to fill my lungs escapes before it can get there, for the sadness of watching my baby suffer. I see progress with Owen all the time, I hear it in his words, in the skills that he is learning, and the interactions we have, but I still find time for sadness. It’s always mixed with hope, always. Autism has changed me, some days I realize exactly how much, other days I still see the person I’ve always been, but yet knowing I’m not, nor ever will be. I’m thankful for Owen, because the best change about me is I have a purpose now. Owen is my gift. He’s awake now, I got my hug, I got a semi-not-awake smile, and I got a few words, this fills my lungs a little more with air. Today and always, I’m thankful for my gift, together we are growing Owen, and we will succeed. Make today matter, find your motivation and go after your dreams. Smiles to all and donut daze!

