Why being too Kind is Poisonous

How Kindness can bring its lot of pain

https://unsplash.com/ by James Douglas

The last 24 years of my life have taught me that being too kind often coincides with deeply hurting or being hurt at one point or the other.

Being too kind can lead to bottling up emotions and creating an even more poisonous situation for you and your loved ones because you don’t want to hurt, you’re too kind to inflict pain.

Being too kind grants manipulators the opportunity to use you to reach their selfish goals. They’ll use you as a stepping stone to their success.

Being too kind in a world led by corporate interests can be the end of you. Being too kind in a world full of hungry wolves will be the end of you.

Here are 2 different areas in which being too kind can lead to your downfall:


Some of this was my responsibility, sometimes it was my partners’. I believe that these communication issues were intimately linked to the fact of being too kind. As overly kind people, the last thing we want is to hurt someone we love. Yet more often than sometimes, we end up hurting that person more than what could’ve been if we had shared our thoughts at an earlier stage, or at least taken the time to talk it through.

Being too kind in a relationship is the one best way to frustration, miscommunication and misunderstandings. I am now practicing being truthful at all times, especially when it hurts the most, as this is where kindness is your true enemy.


Before realizing how poisonous kindness could be, I usually started off at a new job by being friendly with my staff and getting to know the way they reacted, learning their personality. I wanted them to see me as a friend with whom they could create a strong bond and someone who could help them strive for “success”.

It turned against me the day I had to terminate their contracts. Some of my staff could not understand how, as a friend, I could do such a thing. But here it is, plain and simple, the saying “You’re not here to make friends” is so true. Colleagues are not friends, you simply form a team in the goal of reaching a common destination. Once that destination is reached, there is nothing more that should bind you together. People who are too kind and become friends with their colleagues will tend to mix the professional sphere with the personal sphere, and thus lead to some over-sensitivity in the workplace.

Be a strong believer in yourself and be honest about everything you say. If you disagree with something, say it, because if you stay silent, no one will ever know what you’re thinking. If you find something unfair, stand up and fight, be that catalyst that others are waiting for to rise up and voice their own thoughts. This is your life, don’t spend it working on the dream of someone else only because you are too afraid and too kind to voice your dreams out loud.

Never bow your head to anyone who doesn’t respect you for who you are. Because we are all equals. The very same blood runs through our veins.

If you enjoyed this article, consider sharing it or ❤ it around, it might resonate with someone else as well !

The Ascent

A community of storytellers documenting the journey to happiness & fulfillment.

Jules de Campigneulles

Written by

Home is where the Anchor drops. Or where your journal is kept.

The Ascent

A community of storytellers documenting the journey to happiness & fulfillment.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade