Member-only story
Why Competition Will Ruin Your Life
The detriment of comparison and a better way to live
My mom always compared my younger sister and me: how my sister was easier as a baby; how my sister was better at drawing; how I was more responsible with money.
Whether positive or negative, the comparisons always pitted my sister and I against each other. Instead of wanting to help each other, we resented each other.
Worse, there was no way to win this game. Sure, I could save more money than my sister, but my sister is better than me at a hundred other things.
Listen, my problem isn’t with my sister or my mom. It’s not even with the Asian community that loves to compare their children.
My problem is that it’s the wrong game to play.
Anybody could say my kid is the best in math or that they got some prestigious internship.
We should focus on what we can do well, not what everyone else is doing.
For instance, in high school people in my neighborhood were doing volunteer trips abroad. My grandma thought I should do the same, but my thing was speech and debate. That’s what I did well.
We should stop copying others. We should figure out what we enjoy and do well.