Why I Don’t Give A F*ck What You Think
I have a quick confession to make: I don’t give a fuck what you think about me. I just don’t.
That may seem shocking and definitely goes against the crowd, but keep reading and you’ll see what I mean.
Why I don’t care…
I grew up always worrying about what people thought of me. This caused me to have low self-esteem in my childhood, middle school, and high school days. It was also because I got bullied as a kid.
Nonetheless, I would always try to ‘appear’ to be on my best behaviour, avoid conflict, and do certain activities because I thought people would think I am cool (like joining football lol).
It wasn’t until I started going to the club with my friends in 2015 that I truly started to shed what others thought about me. I would always want to talk to girls, but never could because I thought I’d get shot down and everyone would see it, but I also wanted girls.
So, I would literally shoot my shot with girls who I knew would shoot me down. Why? Because I believe that confidence is a muscle that you have to strengthen over time and with more confidence, I’d have no problem caring what others think. If these girls shot me down enough, I’d develop resilence and it simply wouldn’t faze me. Also, if they didn’t, then that was a huge confidence booster.
Believe or not, it worked more times than it didn’t and before I knew it, I was simply not caring what other think. Albeit an odd way to get rid of my problem, it worked, but took a good couple of months to actually work.
I can’t control the external
I started to realize that I couldn’t control; the external. I can’t control what others think. I can persuade, convince, or turnoff, but I simply cannot control their thoughts.
This is something I learned when I started to learn about Stoicism. The stoics talk a lot about only focusing on the things that we can control and if we can’t control it, leave it be.
I couldn’t control if a woman thought I looked good or not, but I can control how I look. I can’t control if a potential client accepts a proposal, but I can create the best proposal ever.
I focus on what is in my control and nothing else.
People will think what they will think
Sort of going along with the above tip, people will think what they want to think.
It takes only a few milliseconds for someone to judge you. They have determined rather you’re potential danger, a nerd, lame, rich, etc.
Again, you can’t control that and nor should you try. People will always have their own thoughts and, to be honest, they’re entitled to them, good or bad.
So, stop wasting your time wondering what people are thinking about you and starting working on you, for you.
I all about my goals
I have no time to give a damn what you think… I’m focused on my goals.
I use to set goals based on what others would think of me. For example, one of my old goals was to become a millionaire by 27. However, I realized that I don’t need a million for the lifestyle I want and I just wanted to be a millionaire for the sake of saying I was a millionaire.
Now, I focus on goals that I truly need and want to achieve. I want a Range Rover, but for me, not because I want to look cool and pick up girls. I want to reach six-figures as a freelancer, but for me and wanting to be financially free, not because I want to look cool and get girls.
I have no time to care about what others think, because it is simply distracting.
How you can stop caring
Create goals you truly want
I you are serious about wanting to get focused on you and not giving a damn what others think, then you should start by reconsidering your goals.
Do you really want a Ferrari or is it because you’d get more women/men? Do you truly have to become a millionaire to get the life you want?
Reconsider the goals you have set for yourself and ensure that they are 100% for you and not for anything external.
Spend more time around supporters
When it comes to not giving a fuck what others think, you should want to surround yourself with those who will support you anyways.
Nobody’s opinion truly bothers me, but I would rather have good opinion over bad. When m friends say that my clients recent website reveal is great, it makes me feel good.
So, stay away from negative people and spend more time with those who will support you regardless.
Don’t take everything to heart
Nonetheless, people will speak down on you. Even if you do the greatest thing since sliced bread, people will still have their negative opinions.
Simply acknowledge them, if they’re valid, look at it as constructive criticism. Anything beyond that, simply dismiss it and move on. Haters will hate and definitely will hate to see you doing better than them.
Keep your confidence up
Your confidence is probably the most important trait you can have. When it comes to reaching the levels of life you want, then you have to have the highest confidence in yourself.
Self-love is the best kind of love, so you have to find ways to always stay at the top of your confidence. For me, it is working out, going outside of comfort zone, and achieving something complicated (like beating my homie Casey in Madden).
You’re confidence is everything.
Quick Recap
- Create goals you truly need and want. Don’t let the thought of others influence your goals.
- Surround yourself with supporters. People are entitled to there opinions, so at least surround yourself with the right opinions.
- Don’t get butt-hurt over negative opinions. Again, people are entitled to their own opinions.
- Keep your confidence up. Confidence is everything and is needed when you seek to reach the next levels of life.
Conclusion
People will think what they think, but that doesn’t mean you have to care. Focus on you, do what is right for you, not what you think is for everyone else.
Stop caring what others think and go all in on you.
JaQuan Bryant is a freelance digital marketer that has worked with over a dozen brands to help them with their digital efforts. He is obsessed with growing daily, staying in shape, and being a better father to his son. Oh yeah, he is a college dropout because… you know… it’s cool to be ;)
