Why I’ve Decided to be (Truly) Single for the First Time in my Adult Life
And what it’s been like so far
A Life of Obsession
I remember the first time I reeeaaally had a crush on someone, in the fourth grade. I discovered that I could spend endless amounts of time entertaining myself by merely thinking of him. What a blissful escape it was from the discomforts of daily life, of being unpopular and having family problems.
Ever since then, romantic entanglements became somewhat of a refuge. Something to use as an escape from the less-than-perfect outside world. And in fact, that in itself is something I didn’t really realize until I became single.
The entirety of my adult life has been spent either in serious, nearly-all-consuming relationships, pursuing people, or evaluating those who were pursuing me. Romantic pursuits have occupied a central place in my mind since I was about 11 years old. Even when I wasn’t dating anyone, I was always chasing someone, obsessing over how I could woo them.
The Perfect Mirror
Until 3 weeks ago, I’d never broken up with a serious partner. I’d cut things off with people before they became too serious, but once I’m in, I’m usually in for good. Even when I shouldn’t be. Even when it’s not been…
