You Need to Get Punched In the Face More
“If I fail more than you, I win.” -Seth Godin

“No prizefighter can go with high spirits into the strife if he has never been beaten black and blue…
The only contestant who can confidently enter the lists is the man who has seen his own blood, who has felt his teeth rattle beneath his opponent’s fist, who has been tripped and felt the full force of his adversary’s charge…
Who has been downed in body but not in spirit, one who, as often as he falls, rises again with greater defiance than ever.”
-Seneca
When’s the last time you got punched in the face?
Maybe it’s been a long time, literally speaking.
The last time I punched someone full-on in the face was 10th grade.
I was sick and tired of our Biff-from-Back-to-the-Future-level class bully Bryan Cardoza pants-ing me in front of the entire gym class. So after he pants-ed me again, I pulled my gym shorts up, turned around, and promptly punched him as hard as I could in his smirking face.
But figuratively speaking, maybe it’s been a long time that you’ve felt the blow.
We need these punches if we ever want to succeed.
Getting punched right in our face is exactly the type of thing we need to take another step to becoming our best selves; to becoming extraordinary.
Most People Avoid Pain, When They Should Be Running To It
“Champions aren’t made in the ring, they are merely recognized there.” -Joe Frazier, champion boxer
Everything is hard before it’s easy.
No one is an expert at the beginning. Said Ernest Hemingway: “The first draft of anything is shit.”
Being ambitious isn’t honorable or noteworthy — everyone has desires and goals.
But actually following through and doing the work required to reach those goals — that’s rare.
That’s because getting anything you want requires getting punched in the face, repeatedly. This is especially hard, because after one or two punches, you really don’t want to get punched again.
The road to any success requires punches in the face.
Maybe this looks like harsh criticism of your ability. Comments by haters and trolls telling you how your work is literally the most boring, worst, terrible work they have literally ever seen.
Maybe it’s no engagement at all. You pour your bleeding heart and fragile soul for weeks into a project, and when you finally hit “publish,” no one even bothers to look.
Maybe it’s the smallest comment someone makes about your work. Maybe it’s a word choice, or a tone (even a perceived tone) that feels like a personal attack.
*BAM!*
*BAM!*
*BAM!*
And again. And again.
Most people stop after a few punches to their face. It’s easy to see why — getting punched in your face hurts.
Pain isn’t fun. It sucks. It makes you feel weak, small, scared, and fragile.
But for anyone who gets back up with greater defiance than ever…
We can only guess how far they’ll go, how high they’ll skyrocket.
Pain is the Gatekeeper to Success
“You control your body. It does not control you. You shut out the fear and emotion and physical stress and you do the thing you dread.” -Tim Grover, personal trainer to Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant
Pain and discomfort are the gatekeepers of success.
They are the guardians of becoming extraordinary. No one enters without meeting — and trading punches — with them first.
Most people see these burly warriors and promptly turn the other way, hoping they were unseen. Most people avoid pain, and try to get through life without ever being unfortunate enough to meet it.
Sadly, this lifestyle actually costs far more energy, time, and effort than just getting on with it. Like avoiding the needle at the doctor, we get sicker and sicker as we avoid the very thing we most need.
“When uncomfortable, my instinct is not to avoid the discomfort but to become at peace with it. My instinct is always to seek out challenges and opposed to avoiding them.” -Josh Waitzkin, world champion chess player
No one becomes extraordinary or achieves true success without overcoming some serious pain.
Pain creates us. It reveals us. It is the fire that hardens us, the crushing pressure that chews up us lumpy pieces of coal and spits out brilliant diamonds.
In the words of Ryan Holiday, “Bad things are fuel. You don’t just want fuel — you need it. You can’t go anywhere without it.”
If you think you’re going to cheat your way into success, and somehow win the pain-free lottery and fall into your wildest dreams without ever breaking a sweat or feeling the sting of rejection or defeat…
You’re wrong.
Pain is the gatekeeper. No one goes around — you must go through.
And that’s when you realize a funny thing.
You actually kind of like the pain.

When Pain Finally Becomes a Friend
Most people who finally shed their old beliefs and begin to embrace pain actually experience a sort of fulfillment and high from difficult experiences.
They see pain for what it truly is — an opportunity. A treasure chest containing increased self-confidence, self-belief, and ability.
All you need to do is go through the trouble of opening it.
Pain makes us stronger. It gives us clarity. Some of the most life-changing realizations happen on the 300th second of your ab-plank or the 19th mile of the marathon.
We realize we don’t have glass jaws — we can take a punch. Hell, we can take several. Bring it on.
We realize pain was that terrifying monster under the bed that turned out to be nothing at all.
We realize who we are through trials and overcoming intense adversity.
In a weird way, this clarity becomes addicting. Once you see the value of pain, combined with the realization that it won’t defeat you, you see pain for what it really is:
Fuel. Energy. Motivation. A speed-boost.
As author Ryan Holiday quipped, “the obstacle is the way.” When you’re stuck, unsatisfied, or at a loss, odds are you need to move into the very thing you’re most reluctant to address.
Because this is where super-growth happens. This is where you experience your most potent transformation.
Pain is the incubator of the extraordinary. It speeds up the whole process of maturity and growth. It’s what makes growth possible.
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” -Jack Canfield
The Extent of the Struggle Determines the Extent of the Growth
“Suffering through your fears and anxieties is what allows you to build courage and perseverance.” -Mark Manson
Most people will never experience the thrill of overcoming an incredibly difficult challenge.
This is why so many marriages fail.
This is why so many people are still overweight.
This is why so many people are still helpless people-pleasers.
This is why so many people remain horribly in debt.
To put it simply: many people just aren’t willing to confront an extremely difficult problem and deal with it. They’re satisfied in giving nominal effort only.
But the extent of the struggle determines the extent of our growth.
This is why spouses with a terrible marriage who chose to work through it actually experience a more rewarding marriage than ever before.
This is why individuals who lose an incredible amount of weight often experience an entire lifestyle transformation in areas completely unrelated to their physical health, like their spiritual, emotional, mental, and relational areas.
This is how people can experience a spiritual awakening and finally start to begin an extraordinary version of themselves.
Pain. And the willingness to get punched in the face, over and over and over.
“Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do. Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better.” — Jim Rohn
In Conclusion
“Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really: Double your rate of failure.
You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn’t at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, so go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that’s where you will find success.” -Thomas J. Watson
When’s the last time you got punched in the face?
How do you feel about experiencing pain? Is it something to be avoided, or embraced? Do you choose discomfort and growth, or comfort and stagnation?
Most people will never feel their “teeth rattle beneath their opponent’s fist.” Most people will never allow themselves to ever experience such a blow.
But it is precisely by overcoming such blows that we become extraordinary. That is the only way.
You can never achieve true, lasting success if you remain comfortable and pain-free.
Embrace pain. Learn from it. Use it to grow.
Change your perspective. Pain isn’t something to be avoided…
Pain is precious.
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