Happy Mother’s Day, You Cruel Excuse for a Parent

Mom, Do You Really Think It’s Okay To Call Your Seven-Year-Old Daughter a Bitch and an Asshole? TL;DR

Argumentum ad Baculum

You’ve been calling me a bitch for as long as I can remember.

Nowadays it’s good to be a bitch. I’ve even seen a T-shirt with the slogan:

‘You call me ‘bitch’ like it’s a bad thing’.

You called me a bitch recently when I proudly told you that I stood up to the telephone company that was trying to bully me out of five hundred dollars. I won in the end when they withdrew their unjust demand. Despite your best efforts to the contrary, I have learned a way to effectively respond to injustice. I took a leaf out of Prussian Blue’s book (literally): Speed, aggression, Strength.

Thanks for that.

Thanks for teaching me to stand up for myself towards everyone else.

Almost everyone else.

A dog can be a bitch. I love dogs. All dogs. Even the ones that aren’t bitches.