Interview With a Dragon
[NB: This interview is a failure. I realize that after publishing it. They can’t all be winners, you know. I’m leaving it up. Read at your own risk.]
In an effort to garner some claps, I decided to pander to current tastes and interview a dragon. If you are new to Medium you may not be aware of the fact that, like Dr. Doolittle, I can talk to animals. If you are new to life you may not know who Dr. Doolittle is. That’s OK. I, for one, am charmed by Millennials. You folks have such nice hair.
I know next to nothing about dragons, but I remembered that they are connected to rivers. So I traveled to the headwaters of the Kenamu river where I found the dragon’s lair deep beneath a mountain. It was a large cave that smelled of fish and brimstone. In its center there was the most beautiful dragon sitting on a small pile of gold.
The Dragon: Hey, this is no small hoard you are looking at. Do you realize that on this 4 terabyte drive [the dragon fetched a small electronic device from the pile and held it up] I have more crypto-currency than all of the terrorists and drug dealers combined? I have enough wealth in this cave to make a Goldman-Sachs chairman cream his bag suit. I am rich beyond the limits of your diminutive imagination.
Gutbloom: I’m sorry. I just thought, based on the stories, that the pile would be larger.
