Suburban Shamanism and the Fourth
The Fourth of July is an important holiday for a suburban shaman because several sacred tasks have to be completed almost simultaneously. If you are unfamiliar with Suburban Shamans, you should take the survey course:
On the fourth of July the lawn has to be mowed and in good order, the grill must be clean, and a bucket, in good repair, has to be found in the tool shed (“kiva”). This bucket is used in a ritual called “fingers of fire” in which the shaman yells at everyone to “stand back” and then demonstrates exactly what not to do with duds (unexploded ordnance) by picking them up and throwing them in the bucket, which has been filled with hose water.
That might not seem like a lot to accomplish; lawn in good order, grill ready to go, bucket filled with water… but get this, The shaman has to do this WHILE watching Wimbledon, The Tour de France, MLB baseball, and, this year, the Olympic Trials.
The rituals of mowing, grilling, and blowing things up have to be performed properly lest the “harmony” of the suburbs be broken. The most important component of each ritual is “presence”.
For example, when you are mowing the lawn you’re not supposed to plan the path of your mower. If distracting…
