The 2018 Commencement Address

Just as Boring As Last Year

[Here is the text of the commencement address delivered to the graduating class of Mushamaguntic School of Economics by his honor, Tribune Gutbloom, on May 12th, 2018. Most in attendance agreed that it seemed as though the Tribune had been drinking prior to his remarks. One graduate described him as “mush-mouthed”. Another simply said, “Yea, grandpa was trashed.”…