The Simple Steps I Took To Stop Drinking Alcohol
And they worked…
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Step 1.
I finished my drink and put the glass down.
The End. No wait… surely there’s more to it than that I hear you cry?
As I write I am two months sober.
I am also two months into turning my life away from being dominated by anger and resentment.
I was easy prey for rage, self-doubt and an early death.
I took my first alcoholic drink over forty years ago. At times in my life, I have abstained, but these events were circumstantial.
Generally, I have no off switch once I start drinking… other than passing out. Ever think about drinking and tell yourself that you’re in control and you could stop any time? Stopped yet?
So job one in fixing my life was to become sober. I wanted to feel as good as possible every day and free my brain from the effects of booze. More important than that, I just wanted to feel.
This is the plan I made and followed: -
The End At The Beginning
I didn’t wake up one morning and suddenly decide to stop drinking. Tried it. More than once. Failed. Every time.
Giving up alcohol is very hard. So I made a plan. I started at the end. The point at which I had a structure in place that enabled me to reject alcohol.
Having a plan and carrying it out to the end is very satisfying. It’s a straightforward way to lay a path to controlling alcohol. Then feel great that you carried out your plan.
The Ceremony
In our home, we have a time of day that we’ve come to call The Ceremony. This is a glamourous name for when the drinking starts. Usually at the end of our working day.
As both my wife and I are self-employed and work from home this could be any time after lunch (for me). We’d gather to chat about our day. We’d also start drinking alcohol. This would usually persist through us cooking dinner. For me, the drinking would continue until we went to bed.
Daily. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
How to fix this trigger point? Get rid of The Ceremony? Maybe take up a hobby, or go out walking.
Well, I have plenty of hobbies, already go out walking and don’t have any more time. I needed something simple, that I could stay with every day.
So, we kept The Ceremony, only made it alcohol-free. I realised what I enjoyed about that time of day was the transition from work to leisure time.
That feeling that I’d achieved something and now was time to celebrate. You should celebrate something every day, even if it’s just making it to the end!
This way meant minimal disruption to our routines. It didn’t require much effort. Introducing big changes in your life require effort, focus and concentration.
Big new habits are all too easy to fall out of in a hurry. Which I guess explains the exponential reduction in joggers towards the end of January.
It also helped that there is a growing industry producing alternatives to alcohol. Now we have fun trying different ones and deciding which ones we like.
Triggers
The process of keeping The Ceremony but converting it into a trigger to have a good time without alcohol worked. So I took the same approach with other alcohol triggers.
I like lists. Medium likes lists. Here’s a list.
- Each morning, when I wake up I make sure to enjoy not feeling like crap from the previous day’s drinking.
- Same at night, just being in control of when I go to sleep instead of passing out.
- Each week when we shop for groceries, make a note of how much less we’re spending and be sure to feel good about that.
- I’m enjoying exercise again rather than battling the alcohol effects.
Never Say Never
At no point have I told myself, or anyone else, that I’ll never drink again. It’s not a promise I can guarantee to keep and it creates too much pressure.
All I’ve committed to do is to wake up each day and be sober.
Accentuate The Negatives
More lists. I wrote two lists.
- Perceived negative effects of alcohol on my life.
- Perceived positive effects of alcohol on my life.
The first list took quite a while. The second was blank. I’ve kept these lists close by and make a point of looking at them often.
I also read up on the negative impacts of alcohol on my body. Alcohol is, after all, toxic to humans.
If You Can Be Anything In Life, Be Kind
It’s simply about this… being kind to others starts with being kind to yourself. You shouldn’t engage in acts of kindness for your own gratification.
If you’re nice to yourself you’ll find yourself just being kind to others with no effort required.
Drinking, despite how much you think you enjoy it, is not being kind to yourself.
All I did here was make a promise to be kind to me.
The Scoops
Make a plan. Keep it simple. A plan that doesn’t turn your life upside down. Why make something that’s hard even harder?
I really didn’t change very much in my life. I changed out the alcohol, but the rest was a mindset. This isn’t easy, but it’s far easier than creating a whole new lifestyle and trying to stick to it. Down that road lies hardship and failure.
Fear is one of the most powerful motivators. Too often it’s categorised as a negative. It’s associated with running away.
Develop a fear that alcohol will stop you from enjoying a long and happy life.
I can only promise that this worked for me. If you’ve read this and it’s got you thinking that you can do it too, then my work here is done.
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