He’s Immutable
Learning from Other’s Perceptions of Me
The family gathering was a bit awkward, but also full of fun and laughter. I was there to support a loved one, and during the evening festivities I was approached with a few unexpected, but obviously pointed political questions.
After the partially transparent conversation, I went my own way and the disingenuous questioner went on to gossip about me to my own mother.
“He’s immutable.”
My mother was taken aback by the statement.
“He is opinionated, but I wouldn’t necessarily say he’s immutable.”
This was a conversation that I was not present for, and I was bothered by the news of it. Someone who’s had two conversations with me — one short, the other a bit longer — had decided I was “immutable.”
It bothered me because I doubt myself and my beliefs all the time. I do not claim an affiliation with any political party, but I value conversation and debate. I think that to seek truth diligently is to not fear confrontation or soul searching, and yet, someone who I thought shared the heart of a truth seeker was more concerned with seeming “correct” and “holier than thou.”
I learned an important lesson through this experience. And the lesson was certainly not that I am immutable. Rather, I discovered the importance of not casting pearls before swine.
I do not take kindly to anyone mistaking kindness and forthrightness with ignorance and stubbornness. And in the future, I should be more careful about who I share my beliefs with.
We already live in such a volatile political and social climate where it is difficult to openly share beliefs without being persecuted for them. It saddens me that more people are not capable of separating their beliefs from their identity in order to see the person in front of them and not just the words coming out of their mouth, especially when this person is over three decades my senior, but I digress.
I hope my story serves as a reminder to you, dear reader, that not everyone is worthy of a good, open conversation. Sometimes, the best answer is,
“I’m more interested in your thoughts.”
Or
“I would rather not spoil the evening with controversial questions.”
Thank you for reading.
