Let Your Faith Be Bigger Than Your Fear
Over the past few months, I’ve led two different sessions for groups of 10 college students on the topic of “fear.”
I’m starting to realize that it’s one of the most important things we can be talking with college students about.
At these sessions, something remarkable happened: the students listened.
And they didn’t just listen like they might “listen” in a class, they fully engaged. And it’s not just because they had to be there, it’s because they wanted to talk about this stuff, they wanted to know more. It directly applies to their lives. They can learn something that might change their outlook and how they encounter challenges day-to-day.
I was stunned by how much talking about fear resonated with the students, but I also wasn’t.
Fear permeates our lives. For college students in particular, many of us have grown up hearing that we have to do it all, have it all figured out, that we have to be the best, perfect even. In essence, we cannot fail. Failure equals death. It’s an overachiever culture. A lot contributes to it, and it leads us to crumbling under any added pressure, to being paralyzed by uncertainty and fear.
Fear limits us in a lot of ways too. It makes us less likely to try new things, less likely to go after our goals, less likely to surprise ourselves and positively impact others, more likely to run from something as opposed to running toward something, more likely to tighten our grip on whatever it is that we’re trying to control or hold on to.
So if we could discover better ways of walking with fear and even embracing it in our lives, the world opens up to us…who knows what could happen for us next. That’s why I was so interested in this topic as a student and still now as someone who works with students and who is trying to improve everyday.
Growing in our ability to handle fear often requires talking about fear with others. To talk about fear in a group, we have to model vulnerability. If we expect others to share what they are afraid of, we have to do it first.
I tell stories of times I was afraid of something and then did exactly what I fearing. For example, in a virtual reality class I took last year, I had to build my own virtual reality prototype for a project. I had an idea for my prototype, but I had no experience coding. I wanted to be able to do it all myself because I was afraid of asking others for help. I didn’t want to look incompetent (even though I totally was). I ended up getting help from four or five different people sometimes multiple times throughout the project. My prototype was still pretty crappy, but because I did what I was afraid of, I was able to convey my idea adequately.
Another example I’ve shared is my fear of praying out loud with others. What if I say something stupid? What if I forget something and there’s a big awkward silence? These were the worst-case scenarios running through my head anytime I was called upon or volunteered to pray with a group or partner. I encountered this fear on my Alternative Spring Break (ASB) trip to LA I co-led this past year. My group made breakfast for about 50–60 men and women who were sheltered at the church (many of whom were native Spanish speakers). Before we served the meal, someone had to lead us in prayer to bless the food. That someone was me. Thankfully, I had gradually gotten better at praying out loud by practicing with my roommate Austin — we would pray together each night before we went to sleep. I also put my trust in the Lord for the Holy Spirit to work through me. I said the prayer, and it was done. We ate breakfast, talked, and it was wonderful.
Whether you’re a spiritual person or not, you have to recognize that fear is a spiritual topic. Facing fear requires having faith and for that faith to be bigger than our fears. That might be faith in a variety of things. For me, it’s a faith in our Heavenly Creator. I can give my fears to God and put my trust in Him.
In the Bible, there are several dozen passages and quotes about fear; a common one is “do not be afraid.” I’m not sure how to do that or if it’s possible. Instead, I try to acknowledge that I am going to feel fear. Even if I’ve prayed out loud a hundred times or asked for help on a project a hundred times, I still might be afraid to do it the next time. That’s okay.
I then try to name that fear: I am afraid of _______. We have to know what we’re talking about. Sometimes it helps to do a meditation or to journal to help us name the fear and deepen our self-understanding.
Once we’re able to name and articulate our fear, it can be helpful to share it. This is a required part of the sessions I lead.
- I’ve had students write up their fears on whiteboards and walk around the room to read each others and post comments of encouragement or action items for their peer.
- I’ve had students share their fears within their meditation, telling a trusted friend, mentor, or Jesus himself, to imagine how these listeners might respond.
- I’ve had students share their fears verbally in pairs (that they choose). I know as a student, I was often seeking to have deeper relationships with friends. This is a chance for them to be vulnerable with each other (potentially facing a fear in itself) and then better support one another.
This is the part in which I am most impressed with the students. Maybe it’s just the ones I’ve been working with, but they’ve been incredible open and willing to go outside their comfort zone. I hope it has made them stronger.
Talking about our fears like this can be freeing too. It can build our compassion towards others because we learn about the hard battles others are fighting. Most of all, I hope that what they’ve taken away from these sessions is to let their faith be bigger than their fears.
This is what I’ve learned so far about fear.
…And right now, I fear that little of what I just wrote makes any sense to you, the reader, but I’m going to trust that enough of it did.
Questions to consider:
- What is causing you fear right now?
- How has faith helped you with your fears?
