How To Cook A Fucking Steak

Go to the goddamn grocery and get steak. Yes, the grocery. A little ammonia is not going to kill you, you pussy. You want to be all fancy and grass-fed and environmentally conscious, go ahead, I don’t give a shit, just get a fucking steak. Ribeye is good. And, yes, bone-in…

Fundamentalist Macaroni and Cheese

This is the recipe for macaroni and cheese. It is the only recipe there is for macaroni and cheese…

How To Barbecue A Turkey — The Super Easy Way For Morons

Bite Me, Kanye! I Bum-Rushed the MTV Video Music Awards — Ten Years Ago This Week

by John Del Signore

What Were Black People Talking About on Twitter Last Night?

The Tragic Tale of Bunky and Barbara Hearst

Ever since American courts granted corporations the legal status of persons-in the…

Stir-Fried Romaine Lettuce

This barely is a recipe at all, which is the reason for it. Who is interested in cooking a side vegetable? But if you are feeding yourself, you need to include side vegetables or you will eventually develop chronic ailments. If you are feeding other people, they will be gratified…

Stop Being a Wuss: How To Make Pie Crusts the Easy Way

The Misplaced Child

There was a loud but muffled scream, and when I looked up, the kid was gone.