A Chat with Heather Havrilesky

“I think of myself as being kind of a wreck no matter what I’m doing. If I didn’t acknowledge how clueless or lost or unstylish and unsophisticated I was straight off the bat, I always felt like I was not being completely honest and clear with the reader. When I meet…

America’s Growth Industries: Whoredom, LOLGifs

Will Scientists Cloning A Wooly Mammoth Be Trampled To Death Or Gored To Death?

The Meaning of Karma

As they travel around the country like an exceptionally tall, five-button suited, emo band — talking about their feelings…

Waka Flocka Flame, “Bringing Gangsta Back”

How to Actually Read Things on the Internet

Reading, once you’ve learned how, is fundamentally easy, right? You are presented with the written word, which your brain runs through some contextual/syntactic gears, and then the meaning is imparted. It’s an experience that can’t be improved, other…

Zombie Berlusconi Penis Terrifies Prostitutes

“He’s more dead than alive. He’s even become ugly. He should just give up. I hope he’s more generous.”
 — Wiretaps of “a significant number” of women who are alleged to have prostituted themselves to Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi for money…

Your President Loves Business!

Luther Campbell Is Talking About Running For Mayor Of Miami

“I have a plan for the schools. We need to have three types of them: one for kids who plan to attend college, one for those who don’t, and a third for the knuckleheads. A big reason F-schools exist is that you have a lot of…

Wear Boots Or Cry

Got boots? Put ’em on. I was once like you, with your dry, comfortable feet. Now I must navigate the day suffering through the scourge of squishy socks. I implore you, do not go down the same road (particularly if that road is 3rd Avenue around 18th Street, which, holy fuck, so much slush and…

Dog Is Smart

Remember That Time Everyone Threw Up on the Internet?

Get Your Smear On

Now that the Golden Globes have been awarded, the best part of Oscar season kicks into high gear: It’s smear campaign time! (Also, allegation of smear campaigns time.) Coming out of the gate, the first apparent smear attempt comes at the expense of Colin Firth, as nefarious smearmongers circulate…