“Bring Back Bloomberg”! Rich Horrorshows Freak Out Over Fake Snowstorm Class War In Pinhead Rag

Choire Sicha
The Awl
Published in
2 min readJan 22, 2014

Where are the plows @BilldeBlasio ??? @kallos ???? @newyorkpost No Plows uptown!

— MollyJongFast (@MollyJongFast) January 21, 2014

Yesterday afternoon, vicious short-sighted monsterpieces went howling to the worst piece of paper on the whole east coast, like the crazy petulant vampire-children they apparently are:

“I can’t believe de Blasio could do this. He is putting everyone in danger,” said Barbara Tamerin, who was using ski poles to get around 81st Street and Lexington Avenue.

“What is he thinking? We’re supposed to get up to a foot of snow and nobody on the Upper East Side is supposed to blink an eye? I can barely get around and I’m on snow shoes! All of the buses are stuck and can’t go anywhere. He’s crazy. We need Mayor Bloomberg back!”

First of all: LOL. It has to be read to be believed, but of course Molly Jong-Fast, who is still only 35, bless her, was a ringleader. These silly Lhota enthusiasts started banging their tin cans about class war early in the afternoon yesterday — at 12:41 p.m.! — when there was like maybe two inches of snow, about the total destruction faced by the Upper East Side yesterday. Except… here’s the funny thing.

The cross streets of the Upper East Side aren’t exactly the city’s most-important arteries. Why would they be? And so they got plowed in due time.

Are we seriously going to hear ignorant rich halfwits barking in the trashy pages of their house organ every time they don’t get what they want exactly when they want it for the next four years? That seems both torturous for all of us and also beneath them. Can’t you enjoy your power and wealth with a little more dignity and with more calculated backstabbing? If you want to set de Blasio up for ruin, surely you can hatch a more elaborate plot than griping on Twitter. Go watch “Revenge” or “Scandal” or whatever and scheme up a more captivating plot.

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