by Haley Mlotek
Victoria Hearst, of the Hearst Corporation Hearsts, has found God (always in the last place you look, I hear) and it turns out God hates Ladies Who Know Where And How To Locate Their Clit. Hearst is working with the National Center on Sexual Exploitation not to shut down the magazine — that’s a step too far, presumably! — but instead to hide their salacious headlines from the prying, innocent eyes scanning past the glossy covers at your local Duane Reade or Wal-Mart.
Hearst offered to meet with Cosmopolitan editor Joanna Coles to debate the issue, and that’s how we, the people of The Internet, were blessed with Coles’ response:
I have no time for a debate. I am too busy putting out a magazine and encouraging American women to have more and better orgasms.
I am impressed and inspired by her ability to so succinctly shut down censorship masquerading as religion. But this story has problems.