A Sestina Written In The Same Amount Of Time It Takes David Brooks To Write His Column

(Fifteen minutes.)

I can’t believe
I am still a columnist
For the New York Times
And that people still actually read what I write
Which is actually a strong word
For what I do as it implies labor and I find labor dull.

Of course I mean dull
In a good way as suffering through it is a lost art. Here’s what I believe:
Kerouac was a man who knew how to type a word
And more right after but don’t ever believe he could have been a columnist
Because you need to use paragraphs in this job you don’t just write
You also hit return. That said, Kerouac was a man of his time

And therefore “my homie.” You would think by this time
Someone would have said I am dull
It would have occurred to them someone else could write
For the opinion page about the crap they believe
But not everyone just anyone can be a columnist
You don’t just put down some words

And have people read those words
Who will dependably say “Yes I have spent some time
Reading the work of someone who is clearly a columnist
Because I have a sort of dull
Sensation in my head that leads me to believe
I’ve read something. And I didn’t write

It. So I’m going to assume someone else did write
These words.”
One thing I can believe:
I get paid all the time
It’s actually a little dull
Seeing all those checks marked REGULAR COLUMNIST

As a columnist
Sometimes I suppose I could worry that people don’t like what I write
And think I’m dull
But then I just forget it and write more words
And laugh. I mean, I can’t believe
I have been around for all this time

Writing crap but hey that’s what a columnist does and mark my words
I will continue to write for the opinion page until the end of time
It’s doesn’t matter if it’s dull. I am the only one who needs to believe.