To Ohio, where a man summoned the constabulary on a complaint that “his live-in-girlfriend hit him with a ham sandwich inside their home in the 2600 block of Royalton Road around 7:10 p.m.” Unfortunately, “the man was unable to provide deputies with a full description of the sandwich, such as whether it was toasted or untoasted.” Also: “Deputies located a slice of bread on the floor, but suspect the family dog ate the ham, according to the report.” [Via] (Previously in Ohio sandwich-related assaults.)