History Says ‘Transformers: Dark of the Moon” is Going to be Horrifically Bad

Michael Bay, I have personally viewed at least 60% of the content you have made as a director (slightly more than that, if you count the “Got Milk”? campaign and Meat Loaf’s video for “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That).” So I’m qualified to observe that your work grows exponentially worse in expected, methodical patterns. Bad Boys II? Not as good as Bad Boys I! Armageddon? It followed the far superior The Rock! (And let’s remember, The Island followed Bad Boys II, which, oh man, poor Ewan McGregor!) And I don’t think the quality progression between the first two Transformers movies even needs to be pointed out. Let’s just say the second one was as bad as that G.I. Joe movie, which, that was more like GI Disorder, AM I RIGHT? So now, for the first time, you are making a sequel to a sequel! Michael Bay, I do not think you can trick us about this. This, we can absolutely reasonably expect, will be your most awful, ridiculous, crappily-dialogued, most senselessly explodey creation yet. This is a film to be viewed only in 2012, in bed, with the flu, on the shoddiest of the premium cable services. I WILL NOT SEE YOU IN THE THEATERS IN JULY 2011. WHO’S WITH ME?