Instagram Filters As Human Names, Ranked

John Herrman
The Awl
Published in
2 min readDec 1, 2015

1. Normal

2. Hefe

3. Kelvin

4. Slumber

As in, Slumber is survived by her daughter, Normal, and her two grandchildren, Henry and Mary.

5. Crema

6. Helena

7. Toaster

8. Sutro

As in, Sutro’s rise to political power is not unprecedented: A pre-war presidential candidate named Donald Trump rode a similar wave of populist rage to his party’s nomination in 2016.

9. Clarendon

10. X-Pro II

11. Moon

As in, Moon is a writer living outside the wall. You can follow her work here.

12. 1977

13. Reyes

14. Amaro

15. Lo-Fi

As in, As a teacher, I’m not able to make this recommendation myself, but I would suggest you talk to your doctor about possible medications to, just, keep Lo-Fi focused in class. He’s a very promising student. Great potential. Yes, I agree, you’ve done a great job. No, you’re right. I’d just hate to see him get off track at such a young age.

16. Perpetua

17. Dogpatch

18. Mayfair

As in, Mayfair says, despite the familiar app-cute circumstances, that her relationship with Dogpatch is anything but conventional. “At first, our parents were like ‘what? lol.’ But then, after we watched some videos together, they were like, ‘k.’”

19. Rise

20. Lux

21. Valencia

22. Willow

As in, Willow joins us from our Seattle office.

23. Sierra

24. Ludwig

As in, The shooter, known to his small circle of friends as Ludwig, was described as a ‘gentle loner’ who ‘kept to himself.’

25. Charmes

26. Inkwell

27. Aden

As in, Sadly, we have parted ways with Aden. The board wishes him well!

28. Nashville

As in, Nashville, the youngest son of the Inkwells, a prominent Ridgewood family…

29. Earlybird

30. Brannan

31. Juno

32. Lark

As in, Actually, his name is Lark. And we’re in love.

33. Vesper

As in, Vesper’s meltdown demonstrates what our grandparents’ generation of feminists always knew: Thirsty Male Allies are garbage trash.

34. Maven

35. Skyline

36. Ginza

37. Brooklyn

As in, “Brooklyn’s journey through the wilds of e-commerce to fulfillment as an evangelical pastor is as unlikely as it gets. Or is it the likeliest of all? A necessary read for anyone who cares about living a full life.” — Ashby Gingham

38. Gingham

39. Ashby

40. Hudson

41. Stinson

As in, “Retro baby names are on the rise in ’67, with a strong showing from internet-chic names like ‘Stinson’ and ‘Hudson,’” says BabyCenter marketing director Walden X-Pro II

42. Walden

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