Madden Mangled

These Broncos were stone-cold stupid. Madden’s Awareness rating, as demonstrated by previous installments of this series, is one of the very most potent skill categories. Without it, normally competent players are reduced to total knuckleheads who often don’t know what they’re doing, what they’re supposed to be doing, where the ball is, or whether they’re playing a sport at all.

The Broncos’ kick returner, Big Walrus, was so completely checked out that I was able to kick the ball and hit him in the ass.

That was not an isolated incident. There were lots and lots of kickoffs in this game, naturally, since I was scoring all the time. When I kicked them the ball, they kinda just stood there. AND THE BALL KEPT HITTING THEM IN THEIR ASSES.”

— So goes the final installation of Jon Bois’s beautiful “Breaking Madden” project, in which he tries to mangle the settings of Madden NFL 25 in order to make the game freak out and shame the sport of football. Also, the GIFs are world-class.