“Marianne Moore Is Reluctant To Say….”

“MARIANNE MOORE IS RELUCTANT TO SAY THAT SHE CAN NOT DO ANY OF THESE THINGS: READ MANUSCRIPT; COUNSEL WRITERS; GRANT INTERVIEWS; PROVIDE PHOTOGRAPHS; RECOMMEND PUBLISHERS; RECOMMEND EDITORS FAVORABLE TO VERSE BY CHILDREN OR WORK BEQUEATHD [sic] FOR PUBLICATION; PROVIDE DATA FOR THESES, LECTURES, SCHOOL ASSIGNMENTS, MEMOIRS; DOES NOT PROVIDE; COLLECTORS OF AUTOGRAPHS WITH CARD, STAMP OR ENVELOPE; DOES NOT READ BOOKS WITH A VIEW TO COMMENTING; ASKS FRIENDS WHO ARE MEMBERS OF UNIVERSITY OR OTHER FACULTIES NOT TO SUGGEST HER TO THEIR STUDENTS OR TO VISITING SCHOLARS AS AVAILABLE FOR CONSULATION [sic].”
— Marianne Moore, queen of the original, permanent and brutal “out of office” autoresponder.