Okay, Help: What’s Your Ideal Afternoon in Brooklyn for Tourists?

Say that you had two friends who had literally never been to Brooklyn. (This may actually not be impossible that you do have such friends.) And these two friends are coming to New York City this weekend, and they have blocked out Saturday morning and afternoon to Experience the Wonders of New York City’s most populous borough (and the state’s most populous county)!

I’ve been stumped for weeks about their itinerary and so I turn to you. Now, while I’m tempted to send them for a walk along the Gowanus (there are bat houses alongside the Gowanus now! I love it!), that seems unsporting and like something that people from out of town might not appreciate.

I think a must-see is the Keith Haring show at the Brooklyn Museum. And I guess the cherry blossoms will be all up and crazy at the Botanical Gardens this weekend? They’re starting to hit peak bloom! With this followed by lunch somewhere wonderful — Roman’s? (Yes, Battersby doesn’t do lunch.) But then maybe that’s a cheesy itinerary. And how do you get from place to place? And then everyone says the Brooklyn Bridge Park is a must-see, but you know, it’s just a park, with a view of Manhattan. (But it could be followed by a ferry ride to Manhattan! Which: cute!) So… help. Where would you send said people! Also, if it helps, you can think “fun-loving, liberal, movie-loving, culturally Jewish, not young” when constructing said itinerary.