Rick Perry will pretend to secede for food.
Rick Perry has a problem. The longest serving governor in Texas history is expected to face an extremely difficult primary against Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison, who, seeing no end to the period of Republican minority in the Senate, longs to return to Austin, with its beautiful sunsets and bountiful array of state records to illegally destroy. How does Perry-last re-elected in 2006 with a mere 39% of the vote, and that in a race where this fella drew 10%-hope to make himself seem more simpatico with the crazy-ass voters of which the Texas electorate is mainly composed?
Now, Rick Perry, despite being a graduate of Texas A&M; and having a brain which is constantly weighed down by 27 pounds of hair, is no dummy. Why on earth would he want to make these incendiary remarks about states’ rights and secession, which only serve to stir up memories of the ugly racial legacy of the last century and the century before it? Because being the governor of Texas is the easiest job in the world. Think about it: It’s the only position George W. Bush held in his adult life that he didn’t completely screw up. A gig that good comes along, you’re gonna do what you have to to keep it, and if that includes making empty threats about bolting the country, so be it. We predict he wins in a squeaker.
