Shh, The Bees Are On

‘Bee Movie,’ but quieter

YouTube

I’m not a clairvoyant, but I’m gonna guess you’re experiencing an atypical level of stress in your life right now. Maybe some unforeseen pressure or dread? I’m going to prescribe you some ASMR (or, autonomous sensory meridian response) content. Essentially, ASMR is videos of people making extremely gentle sounds in order to create that same tingly sensation you get when someone lightly drags their fingers across your skin.

The particular video I’m interested in showing you is from YouTuber Maple ASMR, who took one for the team this week by uploading something her commenters had demanded she attempt: the entire script to Bee Movie, whispered. The result is a one hour, six minute experience, jam packed with as many flatly-delivered bee puns as one body can handle.

“I did NOT skip ONE word,” she ensures us in the video’s description, and I believe her.

Why should you watch it? Idk, do you like memes? Feeling calm? The comedy of ’90s icon Jerry Seinfeld? There’s probably something here for you.

It’s not just for the uninitiated, either—I’ve seen the original movie a handful of times, but experiencing the script in this new format makes it feel fresh. You notice different things about a work of art when a disembodied mouth is whispering it into your ears at a low decibel. Take, for instance, the moment at around 8:52 when she says, “What do you think, pretty boy, are you bee enough?” Within the film, that’s more of a throwaway line—something that happens in a conversation that makes you go, “Heh,” but not laugh. In this video, though? I chuckled. “Bee enough.” Silly stuff!

Treat it like a guided meditation; light a candle, take a deep breath, and allow yourself to be carried away to a world where Jerry Seinfeld is a bee who falls in love with a woman and takes a bees’ rights case to court. You deserve it.