“A meerkat-keeper has been ordered to pay £800 in compensation after glassing a love-rival monkey handler in a row over a llama-keeper at a Christmas party.”
“Plans to ban the pint glass from pubs throughout the Highlands of Scotland have sparked outrage.”
“It’s one thing hitting someone in the face. But to use a bottle on someone you don’t know is just outrageous.” — Glassing victim Amy Steel speaks out about the attack in a Newcastle club which left her with permanent facial scarring.
British Science takes on glassing!
Engineers at the University of Leicester have for the first time created a way of measuring how much force is used during a stabbing using a broken bottle. The advance is expected to have significant implications for legal…
Fellow in Britain is having dinner at a restaurant. At a nearby table, a couple is unable to comfort a crying infant. Our diner walks over to the couple and suggests that perhaps the baby might need to be put to bed. You can guess what happened next.
Actor Sean Bean, out having a drink with “a topless model” (who was, presumably, clothed at the time) this weekend in London, was punched and stabbed with what is believed to be broken glass by an unknown assailant who made “lewd” comments about the model. In the course…
Everyone is talking about the death of the British pint — the government of Knifecrime Island has proposed allowing pubs to serve “schooners,” a serving size that contains two-thirds the amount of the traditional measurement — but no one is asking…
Are the Germans becoming more… British? “While certain crimes are down at Oktoberfest this year, there have been more attacks with an unlikely, yet readily available, weapon: the one-liter beer stein. Some of the victims have been whisked away in ambulances with concussions and…
To Britain, where it is estimated that 300 denizens of that misery-sodden isle find themselves on the sharp side of a glass every week: The Royal College of Surgeons of England and the British…
As Knifecrime Island rubs its eyes and gazes in wonder at its new politics, it also begins to return to the more prosaic elements of life, which is mostly spent down the pub, a horrid experience where the soul-numbing…
