Ten Things That Have Come Out Of My Mouth About The “Ten Bands” Thing On Facebook

One of them is a lie.

1. Wow that ten bands I have seen one’s a lie thing is so weird I don’t really get it and I don’t want to and even thinking about it makes me wish I was born like 10,000 years ago.

2. Every time I see that someone I know has done this meme I read the words/names of bands and feel like someone just wrapped my entire head in gauze and I am floating in space but not in a fun science fiction way or even a wow life is a strange hard journey Gravity way, more like the way in which space is vast and impersonal and if I screamed into it “Why is this ten bands thing even a thing?” no one would hear me.

3. Wait, I’m supposed to just know, based on the force of all of your amazing, unique personalities, which band you listed that you actually never saw? Is that it? I don’t know if I understand the feelings or insights that would go with making an assessment about Which Band You Have Not Seen.

4. Thanks for explaining it to me. I am sorry I fell dead asleep while you were talking. Please don’t take it personally. Do you have any Bourbon?

5. Ok. Here goes. “Journey, Fleetwood Mac, Die Antwoord, The Dixie…” — Oh my God I just had a terrible dream that I was doing the list but that wasn’t the worst part — the worst part was I was actually still alive.

6. What about this meme: “Ten photos of elderly blue heelers, in a 100 mile radius from Nevada City, CA, sent to me by Pet Finder, which are actually obviously mostly Pit Bull — one of them is actually mostly Blue Heeler?” Who wants to play that?

7. Can’t you just tell me which band you didn’t see?

8. Could it be that my moment of maximum internet hatred arrived?

9. Is Iggy Pop going to run a Masterclass on coming up with your perfect “foil” band? Should I attend and see if these type of posts no longer make me want to take my own life? If Iggy Pop sings a song in the class, might I add him to my potential nine “actually seen” concerts? Or should I plug my ears so as to not unnecessarily shorten my list of potential “no not really folks, lol” bands?

10. When people write, “Alright, I’ll play!” are they generally feeling resignation or excitement? Why are more people writing this phrase before this meme than other ones? Is it like “Alright, I’ll play, that sounds fun?” or “Alright, I’ll play, the world now officially blows hard enough for me to engage in this idiocy?”

Anyway, I didn’t really say one of these things. Can you tell which one it is?