The Annotated White House Flickr Feed, With Ana Marie Cox and Jason Linkins: We Definitely Know What You Did At Every Minute This Summer

by Ana Marie Cox And Jason Linkins

White House staff photographer and personal paparazzi Pete Souza: he has been around the world in a day with his concealed weapon town hall camera permit, shooting Barack Obama. What did they do this summer? They went to the Grand Canyon, which is in Mexico. And so many more places! And here we have Rachel Maddow’s hot lady-friend (JUST FRIENDS PEOPLE!) Ana Marie Cox (Daily Beast and Playboy contributor) and Jason Linkins (editor of the Huffington Post’s Eat the Press) to travel along!

Obama celebrates with his Fishing Czar over the fact that he “almost hooked a trout.” Years, later, historians would reflect on how this eventually became a theme for his presidency.

If only there was a bust of Lincoln, to add some majesty.

Jesus. He’s just cold visitin’ every goddamn landmark in the country, like he’s crossing them off his bucket list, or something. (Also: Fog, historians, “theme for his presidency.”)

Jason: Yeah, go on and deny Pete Souza doorways. Steal away his windowpanes. Take from him screens and mirrors, the geometry of hallways, slats in blinds and chance peeks through portholes. It doesn’t matter! HE WILL FIND A WAY TO FRAME OBAMA.

JASON: Come on. Aren’t these types of shots doing more harm than good, now?
ANA: Pete Souza’s just taking note that the halo light has dimmed. (cf. Historians, “theme for his Presidency”)

LOOK. Nobody ever said that socialist indoctrination was going to be exciting.

Now Pete Souza is just letting random people pose in front of Obama’s hooptie.

Jason: Just when you think a subject cannot be too prosaic for Pete Souza, we get this.
Ana: This photo explores what it is like to watch somebody watch Obama play golf.

Pete Souza is now just underneath the bleachers at Town Hall events, photographing asses.

Obama was never good at hide and seek.

ANA MARIE: In the Obama White House, the Indians always beat the Cowboys.

JASON: It’s like there’s that one room in the White House where a David Lynch movie is constantly happening.

A powerful moment, as Barack Obama finally forgives Sidney Poitier for directing GHOST DAD.

Here’s Stephen Hawking, politely declining to mock the wretched fucking health care in America.

To be fair, it really shouldn’t require a teleprompter to remind Obama of the name of the lady he nominated to the Supreme Court.

Pete Souza stalks Obama in the Bushes, and discovers he’s taken the class outside for the day! Yay for the czars!

Robert Gibbs didn’t want to have class outside though! He always thinks he sees some weirdo, lurking in the bushes!

“Jesus. This dump could really use a touch up. Wonder who their contractor is?”

President Calderon shows Obama Mexico’s universal health care program.

Off to fight crime, in Mexico!

Most awkward second date ever!

The longest tequila tour continues. But look: GREEN SHOOTS!

IN CASE YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT HERE.

Okay, this is magical. LOOK: CHAIRS.

AND NOW LOOK: PEOPLE! We have to ask, when you heard that there was going to be a White House Flickr Feed, did you ever imagine its potential to be quite this cock-hardening? (No, you didn’t.)

And now here’s Pete Souza filming someone, filming the president. At least three more years of this, people.

The good news, if Obama gets a second term, Pete Souza will probably start vlogging.

Joe Biden made this ALL BY HIMSELF.

NOT IN THE HOUSE! (Like we said. Theme of the presidency.)

Previously: A Trip Around The World VIsiting Tiny Evil Horny And/Or Kenyan Men