The Eggplant Emoji Means “Broken Penis”

Maybe rethink your emojicabulary.

An “eggplant deformity” is, in urological circles, a sign of a penile fracture, which is even worse than it sounds. During sex, masturbation, or freak accidents, a penis can bend so forcefully that the sheath around one or both of the spongy tubes holding the blood creating an erection tears, audibly and painfully, resulting in rapid flaccidity. The blood released often pools inside the battered cock, causing bulbous purple-black swelling that makes it look more like an eggplant than when it’s happily erect. If the tear is severe enough, a patient may piss blood as well.

Beware when sexting any budding urologists about the rapidly detumescing nightshade in your pants. See also, “The Incident Report. Or, The Time I Broke It”: