Understanding Metropolitan Diary: Queens in Queens Edition

It’s been a while since we’ve played “Explaining Metropolitan Diary” (previously; and also; to be sure) but… well, here we are, with today’s fourth item:

Dear Diary:

Recently, I made an interesting discovery. The eccentric middle-aged man who parades around my quiet Queens suburb sheathed in gowns of the most extravagantly tacky sort, while pushing his companion, a toylike pink and orange poodle (dressed to the nines of course) in an equally ostentatious stroller, is, in fact, a lawyer.

Emily Gifford

This item is enraging in at least four ways.

1. How was the fact of the lawyerhood discovered?

2. What manner of law does he practice?

3. Which Queens suburb?

4. In what way was the poodle dressed to the nines? Are we talking just cute poodle tops? Or poodle separates?

In any event, the whole matter is suspect, because, Jesus, have you met lawyers? Yeah, no “eccentrics” there.

I actually suspect that the letter-writer feels warmly and enthusiastically towards her “eccentric” (aka NON-NORMATIVE) neighbor (and probably also feels good about flamboyant gender outlaws in general); this abbreviated tale, however, reads in context in a most unflattering and socially conservative way. But it’s hard to focus on that when we’re being CHEATED ON THE POODLE OUTFIT DESCRIPTION. (via)