Versace Makes Me Sadface. Skinny Sallow Sadface.

Yesterday’s news that the Versace Group would be cutting 26% of their international workforce-350 jobs-is deeply upsetting especially considering you can’t google “Versace” without “Cunanan” coming up and especially considering their porcelain Medusa obelisk that they made in that one Rosenthal collabo was the hot sauce and matches my Medusa ashtray. (YES.) Versace USED to be cool. It was Linda Evangelista and Biggie Smalls and now it’s not. Now it’s old-timey-melanoma-white-pants-Euro and it’s fun on some “look at me I’m smoking Capri’s while wearing frosted coral-colored Revlon nail polish because I’m a fucking cut up” but is otherwise just super tragic. I mean, seriously, why isn’t there a citizen’s arrest happening on the coccyxtastic behind of one Allegra Beck Versace, a.k.a. Donatella’s daughter, a.k.a. the classic type-a anorexic who holds a majority share of the company but can’t grip it with her hands BECAUSE SHE IS JUST THAT HUNGRY. Hunger is bad for business.