What’s Happening on Ghost Twitter?

A few years ago I made a fresh Twitter account and never used it. It follows nobody and has never Tweeted a link. I have not logged into it in at least two years. I receive at least one email about this account each day, sometimes more. The messages go to a folder I do not check. This is Twitter without people. That’s not quite right. This is Twitter without signals. This is Twitter without you. This is Twitter for Twitter’s Average Human. This is Twitter for… Twitter?

A selection of stories from the last few days:

President Bush Barbara Bush T. Romo J. Garrett J. Witten Sunday Afternoon Hoops: @ZagMBB vs. @Duke_MBB #MarchMadness pic.twitter.com/Vm1OmPycQh
— NFL (@nfl) March 29, 2015
55 million voters turned out in Nigeria’s elections; results expected in a few days. http://t.co/eiSmNeihrI pic.twitter.com/v8WoIZKBHW
— CNN Breaking News (@cnnbrk) March 30, 2015
Pound sign two thousand nine http://t.co/9s8dDe10tf
— Cameron (@wizkhalifa) March 30, 2015
baciami pic.twitter.com/vhmI9w8Gsf
— Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) March 29, 2015
“Any ring I step into is mine.” Ronda Rousey makes her presence felt at Wrestlemania 31. » http://t.co/TCic28X9QI
— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) March 30, 2015
This is the most excited you’ve ever seen Coach K. WATCH: http://t.co/HASwYpNSR5 pic.twitter.com/vNRoFzyrHy
— ESPN (@espn) March 30, 2015
Happy #ThankYouNoteFriday! Tonight on the show: Will Forte (@OrvilleIv), @adRock, & @AnimalPlanet’s Jeremy Wade. #FallonTonight
— jimmy fallon (@jimmyfallon) March 27, 2015
Post-Sept. 11, cockpits are harder to invade, but easier to lock up http://t.co/lVrs7dR0NB pic.twitter.com/1Kx9j5c8C0
— The New York Times (@nytimes) March 27, 2015
Check this off your bucket list. http://t.co/1PRAd7UjfO pic.twitter.com/0Dr0V3czMH
— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) March 27, 2015

And some recommendations:

Send nothing into the universe, and this is what it will send back.